Ever the Same
by bluebird24
Summary: Years after Tree Hill, Lucas Scott suffers a heart attack which causes him and Peyton to remember their past. Title of story is a song by Rob Thomas. COMPLETED
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill  
Title of story is a song by Rob Thomas

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Prologue

Lucas Scott stood at the top of the three-point arc with the ball in his hands. Calmly he kept one eye on his defender and the other on the game clock. Patiently he waited for the ticking clock to reach five.

10…9…8…

Everyone in the sold-out arena were on their feet, anxiously waiting for Lucas to make his move.

7…6…

Lucas's heart pumped faster and faster as the time wound down. Beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face. He leaned forward into his check, creating space between him and his defender as he prepared for his patented move.

5…

With his explosive first step, Lucas dribbled and drove hard to the right of the basket. His opponent, who anticipated the move, smiled as he quickly shuffled to his left and was now in Lucas's path to the basket. Lucas flashed a grin and winked at the defender.

4…

Lucas planted his left foot at the top corner of the key and quickly spun to the left, shaking his opponent in the process. Lucas now had a clear chance to win the game. His heart pounded with excitement, but like a pro, he mentally kept his cool and focused on the shot.

3…2…

Lucas's feet left the ground as he prepared for his shot. At the peak of his jump, he hung in the air for a split second before releasing his shot with a smooth follow through. As the orange ball arched towards the hoop, the crowd collectively held their breaths. Everything began to move in slow motion.

Lucas was still in the air with his right arm still extended in the air. His eyes never left the basket. As the ball sailed closer to the net, Lucas's eyes grew wide in horror. Pain suddenly shot up his arm. He tried to breath, but couldn't. His chest unexpectedly seized in pain.

1…0

The buzzer rang out loudly as Lucas's heart stopped. He clutched his chest with his right hand. His body fell to the ground like a ton of bricks. Lying on his back, Lucas gasped for air, but the vital oxygen barely reached his lungs. He knew what was happening and tried to fight it. He wasn't read to die yet. He thought about the things he still needed to do in life. Panic and fear set into Lucas as blackness soon fell around him.


	2. Feels Like Home

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, especially some of the flashbacks that appear throughout this story. Hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.  
Title of this chapter is a song by Chantal Kreviazuk

Anything in italics, will be from Lucas's POV (kinda like his reflection on his life)  
Anything bolded is a flashback (from Peyton's mind)

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**Chapter 1: Feels Like Home**

_They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes; for me, that's an understatement. The second time I died, I saw more than just flashes. My life seemed to replay itself like a movie. Not only did I watch myself grow up and become the person I had become, I saw how my actions and choices affected the people I loved. This is what I saw…_

_August 24, 1981 was the day I, Lucas Eugene Scott, came into this world. I was born and raised in Tree Hill, North Carolina to the beautiful Ms. Karen Roe. Abandoned by my biological father, my mother bravely raised me on her own. In doing so, my mom sacrificed the rest of her teenage years and put her dreams on hold. I can't find the words to describe just how much I love her; not just because of what she did, but because she's also one of my best friends. She's also the most caring and giving person I have ever known._

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**Present Day: August 2017**

Karen Roe walked out on the kitchen of her diner and into the dining area. Her once black hair had aged to a silver colour. Her face, however, remained the same as it was 15 years ago; warm and caring.

Immediately Karen smiled when she noticed the familiar blonde hair of Peyton Scott, who was seated at a table off to the side. Her back was to Karen, but Karen could see that she was busy reading.

"Peyton, hey. I didn't hear you come in,"

Slightly startled, Peyton looked over to Karen, "Hey Karen," Before standing up to greet her mother-in-law, Peyton closed her book.

"I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up at the airport," Karen said, hugging Peyton.

"Oh, that's ok. Brooke wasn't doing anything, anyways," Peyton replied as they pulled apart.

"So how was the flight?"

"Well, flying with a four and a six year old…hmm…let's just say that it was interesting,"

Karen laughed with Peyton as she imagined Peyton taking care of her two small grandchildren on her own. "Speaking of my grandchildren, where are Roewan and Sawyer?"

"I'm sorry, Karen. I wanted to bring them in to see you first, but they heard that Brooke and Felix were taking Alex to the zoo today…and well, you know kids,"

"That's alright, Peyton. That just means I'll have to spoil them alter. How about bringing them by for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, we'd love that. I really miss your home cooking,"

"Good, it's settled then. Tonight, say around 7?"

"Deal,"

"Alright, I better get back to work," Karen motioned to her customers that had just walked in. They hugged briefly before Peyton left the café.

Peyton looked at her watch. She still had a couple of hours before she had to meet Haley. For the first time in months, Peyton finally had some free time to herself and wasn't going to let that go to waste. Taking full advantage of her time, she strolled carelessly through the streets of Tree Hill, reminiscing her high school days.

It took Peyton less then twenty minutes to walk the small town of Tree Hill. She ended her trip down memory lane at the white steel bridge. The bridge that connected the 'Hillers' to the 'River Rats'; more symbolically, it was the bridge that connected Peyton to Lucas.

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**FLASHBACK **

**As Lucas stepped onto the bridge, he noticed the familiar face sitting on the railing. It was the very face that caused his stomach to tie into knots whenever he saw her. Cautiously, he approached Peyton Sawyer and removed his earphones. **

**LUCAS: Hey, I've been thinking about you. **

**PEYTON: Try a cold shower. Sorry. You set yourself up for that one. **

**Peyton stole a glance at Lucas's stunned face. She gathered her belongings and began to walk with Lucas. **

**LUCAS: Yeah, I guess so. How you doing?**

**PEYTON: Let's see. Um, I broke up with my boyfriend. My mom's dead. And my dad's away on a job.**

**LUCAS: What's your dad do?**

**PEYTON: Captains a drudging boat. He's only here for those forked anniversaries but this year, he sent his sympathies in an email. **

**Remembering that she was alone on the anniversary of her mother's death depressed Peyton. She desperately needed to change the subject.**

**PEYTON: I read your article. I think it seemed like you guys are just one great, big, happy family. **

**LUCAS: Yeah, it's kinda ironic, huh? You know, I would gladly erase my dad if it would bring back your mom. I wish I could change it for you.**

**PEYTON: Thank you. I gotta go. **

**She picked up her pace and began to walk away from Lucas, smiling as she did.**

**LUCAS: Hey, Peyton**

**She turned around for a moment, showing her smile to Lucas for the first time. But she kept moving farther away from him. **

**PEYTON: Don't ruin it ok?"**

**Peyton continued to walk home on her own. Even though she knew it would be empty and that she would be alone, Lucas's comment made her forget.**

**END FLASHBACK **

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Still seated on the sidewalk of the bridge, Peyton smiled as she remembered that day. That was just one of the many reasons why she fell in love with Lucas Scott. She finally opened her eyes and brought herself back to reality. She let out a small sigh as she rummaged through he backpack for her book.


	3. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Thanks for reading and reviewing! It's great to read the feedback – lets me know what you guys like about it and what I can improve on.

While I was writing it, I thought that it would be confusing because the story does flips from the present to the past…I'll try to clarify the time more clearly from now on.

To answer some questions: the first chapter was a prologue, it has happened. And right now we are following Peyton (in the present and post heart attack) and her reminisces of their past together…in other words we are finding out how they got together to why Lucas isn't in Tree Hill (the present). I hope that makes sense.

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, especially the flashback used from the show (thanks to for the transcripts)  
Title of chapter is a song by U2

Anything in italics is from Lucas's POV (his reflection on his life)  
The rest is a flash back from Peyton's mind

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**Chapter 2: Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own**

_Being a teenager is hard. It's the time where we are all desperately seeking independence, as we are no longer children depending on our parents to make all of our choices for us. But sometimes we find ourselves faced with decisions no one should ever face alone because we get confused and forget that it's alright to ask for help. Instead we find ourselves feeling lost and alone in the world, but if there is one thing that we need to remember in life, it's that we are never alone._

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**Flashback: January 2005 **

The day was dark and gloomy, paralleling Peyton's mood. Lightening flashed behind the clouds scattered in the sky that threatened to rain at any moment. Thunder rumbled in the distance, but Peyton didn't hear it. She was on the phone, desperately trying to get a hold of her father.

PEYTON: (Sighs) Pick up!

MACHINE: (Through the phone.) You've reached Sawyer dredging. If you'd like to leave a message for Larry Sawyer, please do so after…

Frustrated, Peyton hung up and dejectedly leaned against her desk. Suddenly she heard a knock on her bedroom door. It's was Lucas.

LUCAS: Hey.

PEYTON: Hey.

Concern was written all over his face.

LUCAS: So uh… I saw you cut out of lunch today. Just… wanted to know how you were doing.

PEYTON: (Looks down and shrugs slightly.) Been better. She looks away, but not before Lucas sees that she's on the verge of crying. Immediately, Lucas walked towards her with arms open.

LUCAS:Hey. Come here.

For the first time in month, Peyton found the comfort that she needed in his arms.

LUCAS: Sit down.

At the side of her bed, Lucas sits beside Peyton.

LUCAS: So do you know who wrote it? On your locker?

PEYTON: No. I don't even wanna know. I just want it to all… go away. Just… all of it.

Something on her beside table caught Lucas's eye. He peered over and saw the torn up picture of Jake and Jenny. Part of him was surprised to find it, the other part of him was jealous. Lucas had no idea how close Peyton, Jake and Jenny were before the left.

LUCAS: You miss Jake huh?

Peyton shot Lucas a look of shock, followed by anger.

PEYTON: You should go.

LUCAS: Peyton

PEYTON: No–You-OK. _You_ can't just walk in here and _ask _me something like that! _When_ is the last time we even had a conversation about something real?

LUCAS: I just thought you could use a friend.

PEYTON: Yeah, I _could_ use a friend, you know but _you_ don't qualify as that anymore, Lucas, because a _real_ friend would know about all the _crap_ I've been dealing with lately.

LUCAS: Like what?

PEYTON: Just go. Please.

LUCAS: OK. I'll go. Whatever you think… I really _do_ care about you, Peyton.

He had come over, trying to be her friend, trying to come back into her life, but who was he to waltz back in and out of her life whenever it was convenient for him. Peyton was too stubborn to let him back in the easily, even though deep down, she didn't want him to leave.

From her bedroom window she stared at him. Finally, he stood outside on the sidewalk, looking back at her. He placed his hands back into his pocket and finally began to walk away.

Peyton stormed back to her bed and angrily threw her green square pillows on to the ground. "Who does he think he is?" she muttered to herself as she scooted her body to the center of her bed. As her head hit the remaining pillow, she heard rain falling against her window.

"Serves him right. I hope he catches a cold in that rain," Peyton said bitterly to herself before closing her eyes to sleep.

Minutes had passed and Peyton was still wide-awake. "Stop thinking about him, Peyton. He's not going to catch a cold. Its just rain. He'll be fine," she told herself. Even though she was upset with Lucas, Peyton felt guilty for kicking him out.

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The rain fell hard from the dark sky, blurring the path in front of Lucas. His body shivered from the cool wind that whipped around him. Lucas was half way across the bridge when he noticed his dark surroundings were now lit up. Immediately he walked closer to the railings and off the road, giving the car ample room to pass him. The car behind him began to honk. 

"How much more do you want me to move over?" Lucas muttered as he continued to ignore the honking.

Finally Lucas heard the car pull up beside him.

"Get in,"

Lucas squinted through the rain. He recognized the black car before he saw the girl behind the wheel.

"No, thanks," Lucas stubbornly said. He turned his head away and continued to walk.

Peyton sped the car up and crept beside him. "Come on, it's raining and it's cold,"

"I'm fine. Just go home,"

"Lucas…I'm sorry alright,"

Lucas looked back at Peyton and threw her a half smile, "I know, otherwise you wouldn't be here,"

Lightening lit the sky. "So, will you get in the car now, please?"

Lucas shook his head and yelled over the thunder, "You were right. I haven't been a very good friend to you. I wasn't there for you at all, but I just thought that I was doing the right thing by giving you space,"

"Lucas I didn't mean it," Peyton was beginning to get frustrated, "Would you just get your stubborn ass in my car so we can talk about this?"

Lucas stopped and leaned over. He looked at Peyton through the open window, "Do you really want me to get in?"

"Yes,"

"Then answer me this, would you have come after me if it weren't raining?"

The question stunned Peyton but at the same time she knew she wouldn't have come after him.

Lucas nodded, "It's ok. You don't have to answer," It was an honest statement. Lucas understood and wasn't upset with Peyton. "I'll be ok," He backed away from the car and walked away. Peyton sat in her car, watching him walk farther and farther away.

Without thinking, Peyton put her car in park and got out of her car and into the rain.

"Alright, so fine. Maybe I wouldn't be here if it wasn't raining," She yelled out. "But what difference would that make? We'd have to work things out eventually. You know that we can't keep avoiding each other,"

Lucas stopped in his tracks when he heard Peyton's voice. He was stunned to see Peyton heading towards him. Her curls slowly disappeared as her hair began to absorb the rain.

"Peyton, you don't even have coat on. Get back in the car," he lectured when he noticed that she was just wearing a tank top and sweatpants.

"I'm not leaving until you come with me, Luke. So either we stay out here in the pouring rain or we can go home,"

Lucas sighed as he began to remove his jacket, leaving him in only his t-shirt.

"Lucas, what are you doing?"

He held the jacket out to Peyton, "Here, put this on," she stared at him in disbelief, "Just put it on…please. You're freezing. It's not much, but at least it's still dry on the inside,"

Peyton pulled the jacket over her shivering body. She could the warmth from his body. She took a peek at his face.

"Come on, let's get out of this rain,"

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Now in dry clothes and back in the warm Sawyer's residence, Peyton stood over the stove, stirring the warming milk. She was dressed in a dry pair of sweat pants and a tank-top. Her hair desperately tried to spring back into curls, but the dampness wouldn't allow it. It was gonna be one hell of a mess tomorrow. 

As she stirred the milk, the rain continued to rap miserably on the windows outside. A clap of thunder roared outside, shaking the windows and causing Peyton to jump slightly.

Moments later, Lucas entered the kitchen, rubbing his wet head with a towel, "Hey, thanks for the towel and dry clothes,"

"No problem, I figured that you were about my dad's size," she said without looking up. Peyton spooned in a couple of spoonfuls of cocoa powder into the steaming milk.

"What are you making?"

"Cocoa,"

"Cocoa? You mean hot chocolate?"

The self-proclaimed cocoa connoisseur's jaw dropped as she faced the naïve boy. "You did not just call my cocoa, 'hot chocolate',"

He looked at Peyton with confusion. "I…um, never had cocoa?"

Peyton shook her head, "Cocoa-virgins,"

Lucas laughed, "Someone is 'coo-coo for their cocoa,"

"Hey, I take my cocoa very seriously here. I'll have you know that I make the best cocoa in Tree Hill," She placed a mug in front of Lucas who was now seated at the kitchen table, "Just so you know, once you try my cocoa, you'll never go back to what you call… 'hot chocolate' ,"

Lightening flashed through the windows. Lucas picked up his cup and sniffed it like a wine-connoisseur would with wine. "hmm…rich, chocolately," he commented in a British accent.

"Shut-up and drink it already," she laughed.

Lucas gently sipped the steaming cocoa, "Hey, this is good,"

A satisfied smile crept across Peyton's face just before she took a sip of her cup. "Nothing like 'a warm hug on a cold day',"

"A warm what?"

"A warm hug on a cold day…that's what my mom called cocoa. Every cold or rainy day, my mom would make me 'a warm hug'. I always thought that it was her special name for it, till I actually read the side of the canister…it was their slogan or something,"

Peyton closed her eyes, remembering the times she would share a cup of cocoa with her mom. It was secret tradition they shared; Peyton's father never even knew about it and this was the first time she had ever told anyone. It was also the first time she made the cocoa for anyone else.

"I remember her everyday, Luke. And its so hard knowing that she's never coming back. Sometimes I pretend that nothing happened…and that I would walk into the kitchen and there she'd be…right at the stove, making me a hug. Then we'd sit and talk about my dreams and about how proud she was of me, the way we used to," she bit on her quivering lip, fighting the tears, "I never meant to disappoint anyone,"

Without even realizing it, Lucas reached out and held onto Peyton's hand. He waited for her to continue, but she just stared down at the table. She wiped the lone tear from her face and shyly glanced at Lucas, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you all that,"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Peyton, you never disappointed your anyone,"

She picked her mug and walked over to the sink. Peyton poured her cocoa down the drain and let the mug crash into the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes. Her head hung low as she rested her hands on the counter.

"Hey," Lucas came up behind her, "What's going on?"

"Nothing. It's fine. I just get emotional sometimes when I talk about my mom," she shrugged as she faced him.

He didn't buy it. The look in her eyes told him so, "There's something else, isn't there?"

She shook her head, avoiding his eyes at the same time.

"Peyton,"

"Luke, just drop it please…"

"If I did, then I wouldn't be the friend that you need right now. And you can throw me out again if you want, but this time I'm not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you,"

Her arms folded across her chest – partly telling him that she was going to hold her ground and keep it in and partly telling him that she felt scared and insecure about sharing her secret.

She took a deep breath before quietly starting. "I had a lot of things going on…my dad, Brooke, you, Tric…just everything in general…it felt like everything I touched just fell apart. And I just wanted one thing to go right for once, so I did it. I'm not happy I did it… and I wish I could go back…go back and erase that day,"

"Peyt, what did you do?"

"I did a line of coke," she nervously waited for him to freak out on her like Brooke and Haley did, but he didn't. Instead, he reached for her hand and held it. He also kept his attention on her, urging her to continue. Her eyes searched his for any trace of disappointment, but didn't find any.

"The thing is," she continued, "even though I regret it and know it was wrong," tears began to fall from her watering eyes, "it felt so good. It made me forget all of the drama, my mom, my dad…and about being alone. And now…sometimes I just…I want to do it again so I can forget everything again," her voice cracked.

His long arms pulled her into him. Peyton clung on to him as she buried her face into his chest, crying it all out. Peyton felt his hands massage her back, consoling her. Her body trembled against his solid body as she sobbed.

Minutes had past and Lucas still hadn't said a word. He waited for her to let it all out before he made his move. They pulled apart slowly. With his thumbs he gently wiped her fallen tears. When she looked into his eyes, he asked her, "Do you still have any?"

Shamefully she nodded.

His voice was stern, but not mean and it was filled with just as much worry as care, "Show me,"

In the foyer, Peyton put her purse down and held the tiny bottle out. Lucas looked at the bottle containing the drug and then back at Peyton. "I'm not going to take it away from you, Peyton. I just wanted to know…and I want you to know that you're not alone, Peyton. I am here and I will be here when ever you need me to be. If you need help or a friend…or just someone to hold you, you can depend on me. And when you realize that, I want you to get rid of it,"

She saw the sincerity in his eyes. For the first time, she felt like someone understood what she was going through and what she needed. Brooke and Haley had the best intentions, but they were just as scared as she was and didn't want to deal with it head on. Lucas was different. He knew it was something that she had to face but he wasn't going to let her do it alone, he was going to be right there beside her.

If she was going to get rid of drug, they were going to do it together, she decided. Without a word, she reached for his hand and led him out of the foyer. Standing in the bathroom, Peyton lifted the toilet seat and uncapped the tiny bottle. Her hand turned the bottle upside down and the white powder emptied into the water below, where it was then flushed out of her life forever.


	4. Lean On Me

Thanks again for the awesome reviews. I'm glad that you are liking it so far.  
I added a time line, as suggested – I added dates to the previous chapters, so hopefully it'll be a bit more clear. Basically, I'm just telling the important events between Peyton and Lucas before his heart attack.

A/N: Everything in season one happened up to and including Peyton's drug storyline, only Jake didn't come back.

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**Chapter 3 Lean On Me**

_Growing up, there was only one thing that made complete sense to me: basketball. I could play for hours in the park, either alone or with my boys at the River Court. I can't describe the feeling every time I had the orange ball in my hands, but when I stepped onto the court, I felt as though the world around me disappeared, along with al of my fears and troubles. I had no worries. I felt as though basketball was my life._

_Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM): the two words that threatened my life. I was 16 years old when I was diagnosed with the genetic heart disorder. There are different forms of this heart muscle disease, but generally, it prevents the heart from being unable to pump enough blood throughout the body when a high demand for blood is needed._

_When I was first diagnosed with HCM, my life turned upside down. It was a difficult time for me and although I was surrounded by many family and friends who offered me love and support, I could only turn to one person – Peyton Sawyer. If it weren't for her, I don't think I could have gotten through it. I can't explain why I could only turn to her. Maybe it was because I had just helped her through a difficult time and she wanted to "square her karma". Or maybe it was because (as Haley James-Scott would put it) this 'tortured athlete' and the 'tortured artist' just understood each other – or maybe it was because of love...

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**Flashback: March 2005**

"Hey," Lucas shyly said as he suddenly appeared in Peyton's bedroom doorway.

Peyton looked up from her blank sketchbook. "Hey, come in," she put her book on her bedside table as Lucas lay down on her bed, beside her. They laid there on their backs, just staring up at the ceiling in a comfortable silence.

Ever since Lucas had found out about Peyton's problem with drugs, he was the only one who was brave enough to help her. While everyone else pretended that she was OK and avoided the subject, he stood by her. He listened to her when she needed someone to confide in and he held her when she needed comfort. He didn't run or lecture her about how stupid her mistake was. She already knew that. She just needed someone to take away her loneliness and he did just that.

Peyton was always thankful to Lucas, even if she didn't say it aloud. She resisted his help at first because she was ashamed of what she did and didn't want him to see her at her weakest. When Peyton finally broke down her walls and confessed to Lucas, he began coming over every night to talk and now she looked forward to nighttime every time she woke up.

"So, how you doing?" he asked.

"Well, let's see. It's been two months since I told you about my momentary loss of sanity, four months since I last saw my father…but on the bright side I am no longer suspended and people don't care about my sexuality anymore,"

"At least you're looking at the bright side," he joked.

Before laughing, Peyton sarcastically gasped, "Did the broody Lucas Scott made a joke? Where's the video camera when you need one? Seriously though, I'm doing OK," She placed her hand on his and looked him in the eyes. "I'm better than OK, now. Thank you,"

"You don't have to thank me,"

"Yeah, I do. You stayed with me when I tried to push you away. You never gave up on me and believed in me when I didn't. So, thank you," and without thought, she leaned closer to Lucas and placed a kiss on his forehead. Both smiled at each other and secretly wished the little kiss would lead to more, but both were also too scared to make the move.

A second later, they knew the moment had passed. "Uh, so," Peyton began as she tried to shake her feelings, "your turn. How's your heart holding up?"

He turned his head and looked back up at the ceiling and sighed. Two weeks ago, Lucas received the results of his HCM test: it was positive. During this time, there was only one person he could turn to: Peyton. She was the only person who didn't treat him differently or looked at him with pity. Peyton wanted to be the same friend he was to her when she needed him – and she was.

Peyton helped him vent the anger he felt towards his mother for forcing him to take the test. She was also the one who took him to Charlotte for the test and was with him when he received the news. She had held his hand in the doctor's office and asked the questions he couldn't ask:

**One Month Earlier**

"Can he still play basketball?"

"We still need to run some more tests to see how serious his condition is first," Dr. Miller answered.

"But chances are he can still play, right?"

"There are some young athletes who are playing with HCM, but they are closely monitored. It all depends on the severity,"

"OK, what do you mean by 'severity'?"

"Best case scenario, Lucas can play, but has to be monitored daily. He has to learn his limits and cannot overexert himself. In other cases, medication must be taken or a defibrillator is implanted or…worst case, he has to quit playing,"

Both Peyton and the doctor looked over at Lucas who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't moved since he learned the news. Peyton gently squeezed his hand, reminding him that she was there with him.

"I know that this is a lot to take in. If you have any other questions, please call me," The doctor stood up and gave Peyton his cad. "I'll go and schedule some more tests for next week," The doctor left, allowing the teens to have some time alone and figure things out.

When the door closed behind the doctor, Lucas let go of Peyton's hand. He slouched back into the chair and covered his face with his hands. The thought of not being able to play the game that he loved scared him. He became frustrated and angry. He was angry with his mother for making him take the test. He was also angry with Dan - the man who wanted nothing to do with Lucas's life, but still somehow seemed to control it.

Peyton reached over and placed her hand on his knee. She could feel him shaking slightly. "Hey," she softly said. Peyton got up out of her chair and knelt down in front of him. She reached for his hands and gently pulled them away from his face. His face was read with anger. Hot tears streaked down his face. Seeing Lucas like this frightened Peyton, but she held her composure. Gently, she wiped his tears away. His eyes began to soften again as she touched his face.

Peyton then pulled Lucas into a hug and held him. He could feel her warmth and felt comforted as he held on to her tightly. They remained in their embrace for a few moments until Lucas calmed down.

"What if…what if I can't play again?" he quivered.

She pulled back slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes. She caressed his face as she spoke, "Lucas, I know you…even if the doctors say you can't play, you'll manage to find a way to play,"

Lucas looked at her skeptically.

"Well, if you can't play, there's always coaching. I know it's not the same, but I see you at practice and at River Court. Your always showing the guys how they can improve their game," Peyton smirked before she continued, "Or if coaching doesn't work out…we could always use another cheerleader,"

Lucas couldn't help but laugh. She was glad to see him smile as she laughed too. "Yeah, I do have nice legs don't I? Think yours can handle the competition?" he joked back.

Lucas and Peyton, Peyton and Lucas - two teenage friends that had seen each other through their weakest times and offered each other the support and compassion whenever it was needed. Through these difficult times they had unknowingly rebuilt their trust and faith in each otter, which reformed the friend ship they had once lost.


	5. My Heart

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Thanks to for the transcripts used.  
Title of chapter is a song by The Perishers

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**Chapter 4 My Heart**

_For a long time, I never liked my half brother, Nathan. I never even though of him as a brother. He was just another kid who had the same father as me. He was also a punk kid who teased me and beat me up every day at school. Needless to say, Nathan didn't like me either._

_It wasn't until my first year of Raven's basketball when Nathan and I started to act like brothers. Actually it took a few 'Things' to make our brotherly bond to form, but when it did, I saw a side of him that I never knew existed. He wasn't a carbon copy of our father, like I thought he was. Nathan was different. _

_Nathan's the kind of guy you want on your side because you know you can depend on him to be there for you. He's the type of friend who will stick by you not matter what; who will make you open your eyes to see what's right in front of you; who will give you the push in the right direction; and who I am proud of to call my brother.

* * *

_

**Flashback: June 2005**

The ball bounced off the court and rolled onto the grass. It continued to roll on its own path until Nathan trapped it underneath his foot. He was walking hand in hand with Haley towards the court, where they were meeting Lucas for lunch. Before picking up the ball, the couple noticed that Lucas wasn't alone. Peyton was standing beside him on the court.

"This looks interesting," Haley commented to Nathan with a wink. "I think it's time Peyton and I had a little chat,"

Nathan grinned as he watched his wife take off towards Peyton. Haley barely said 'hello' before she grabbed Peyton's hand and pulled her off the court. Lucas also watched a surprised Peyton being dragged off the court, but he shrugged it off and turned his attention back to Nathan who was holding his basketball.

"Hey, man," Lucas called from the court. He clapped his hands and held them out just in front of his midsection, waiting for Nathan to pass him the ball. "Yo! You gonna give me the ball or smile at me all day?"

Nathan shook his head. With a flick of his wrists, the ball sailed towards Lucas's waiting hands. As soon as the ball touched Lucas's hands, he took another shot.

"What's with the grin?"

Nathan grabbed the rebound and nodded over in Peyton's direction. Lucas rolled his eyes. He didn't want to get into another deep conversation with his brother, especially in front of Peyton.

Dribbling the ball, Nathan made his way over to his big brother. "A simple 'thank you' will do," Nathan said in a cocky voice.

"Thank you for what?"

"You know…our little conversation a couple of months ago or did you forget?"

* * *

**FLASHBACK: 7 Months Earlier**

**LUCAS: There's nothing wrong with my heart, Nate. **

**NATHAN: Yah? That's what you said after your car accident. You told me you didn't wanna be afraid to live your life. **

**LUCAS: That's right. **

**NATHAN: Well I don't buy it, Luke. I think there's something in your heart you're running from. **

**LUCAS: (Smirks, sighs and looks away) OK, what are you? Psychic?**

**NATHAN: You can make jokes about it all you want…but you know there's a girl you had feelings for. **

**LUCAS: Nathan-**

**NATHAN: Look me in the eye. Tell me I'm wrong. **

**Lucas looks at Nathan but couldn't find the words to deny it. He knew his little brother was right. **

**NATHAN: See? Now you can be made at me all you want; you can say your heart's fine…but till you tell this girl how you feel… your heart's gonna be flawed. You need to talk to her Luke.**

**END FLASHBACK

* * *

**

Lucas remembered the conversation very well. In fact, it played over and over in his mind ever since.

"I'm just teaching her how to play, that's all. We're just friends, Nate," Lucas said with a shrug.

"Oh come on, Luke. You guys have been practically spending every moment of every day with each other for the past few months. You can't tell me there's nothing going on,"

"Like I just said, 'we're just friends'," he replied with more authority in his voice. He was quickly becoming annoyed with his younger sibling.

The smile slowly faded from Nathan's face as he realized that Lucas never told Peyton how he felt, "You never told her…"

"Forget about, Nate," Lucas said as he tried to swat the ball out of his hands.

"No, I won't forget about it," Nathan replied angrily as he whipped his body around to protect the ball from Lucas. The sudden outburst caught the attention of the girls who were in the middle of a similar, but more civil conversation of their own.

Lucas glanced back at the girls and noticed that they were watching. He looked back at Nathan and glared, "Leave it alone,"

Nathan lowered his voice, "Why? You scared that Peyton will finally know the truth?"

"Just give me the ball," he demanded, holding out his hand.

"No,"

"Give me the damn ball,"

"Make me,"

Out of frustration, Lucas pushed Nathan. Nathan lost his balance, but quickly took a step back to regain his footing. He stepped forward and bumped Lucas with his chest. Lucas held his ground. The Scott brothers were now locked in a menacing stare-down.

Seeing that the two brothers were on the verge of physically fighting, both Peyton and Haley jumped off the picnic table and headed towards the court.

"Hey, cut it out you two," Haley called out.

"Hey, here she come, Luke…" whispered a smug Nathan, "Now's your chance to tell her about your heart,"

"My heart is fine," Lucas replied through his clenched teeth, "Just mind your own business.

Even though it wasn't any of his business, Nathan felt the need to interfere. All he wanted was to see his big brother happy. He just wanted Lucas to have what he had with Haley.

Worried that the situation would get further out of hand, Peyton and Haley, pried the two boys apart and were now standing between them. Peyton stood in front of Lucas while Haley stood in front of Nathan. With one last glare, Lucas finally broke the eye contact and walked away.

"You can keep walking away, Luke, but you and I both know that you or your heart will never be fine,"

Lucas continued to walk towards his truck as if he didn't hear his brother's last comment. Both girls, on the other hand stared at Nathan in utter disbelief.

"Nathan!" Haley scolded as he hit her husband on his arm.

"Ow," Nathan said, rubbing his left bicep.

Peyton walked over and did the same to his right arm.

"Ow," he repeated, now rubbing both arms.

"How could you say that to him?" Haley demanded.

"Why can't you just leave him alone? The doctors told him his heart would be fine as long as he took his meds," Peyton continued.

"No, it's not,"

Both girls wound up for another punch, but hesitated when Nathan backed up and held his arms up in surrender. "Wait, let me explain first…then you can decide if you want to hit me again,"

* * *

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

Lucas heard a soft knock on his door, but continued to stare at his book, even though he wasn't really reading it. His mind was too busy replaying his earlier confrontation with Nathan. Lucas didn't know what to do.

The door slowly opened. Lucas peered around from his book and just saw some curly blonde hair. He began to get nervous. Knots tied his stomach and his palms began to perspire. He tried to quickly collect his thoughts and sat up on his bed. Peyton warmly smiled at him as she closed the door behind her. Seeing her smile made him relax a little.

"Hey, your mom let me in," she began. "I was waiting for you to come by for our nightly talk, but you didn't…so I decided to come here,"

Lucas looked over at his digital alarm clock. The red numbers flashed 11:24pm. "Oh, I was going to but, um, I started this book and…"

She held her hand up, telling him to stop. "It's okay. You don't have to explain. I just wanted to make sure things were alright,"

Lucas nodded his head. For the next thirty seconds, neither of them said a word. He sat on his bed while she stood at the foot of the bed, both avoiding any kind of eye contact. It was the first time in months that an awkward silence fell between the two.

"Well, um…I'll let you get back to your book," Peyton finally said. She turned and headed towards the door. He was about to tell her to stay, when she suddenly faced him. "We're friends, right?"

The question caught him off guard. "Ah, yeah. Of course,"

She took her hand off the doorknob and walked back to Lucas's bed. "And that means we can talk to each other about everything, right?"

He nodded his head, but wondered what she was getting at, "Yea,"

She sat down on the bed with her feet hanging over the edge of the bed. Lucas moved across the bed and sat down beside her. He watched her nervously tuck a curl behind her ear. He could see fear in her eyes and Lucas became concerned.

"Then why didn't you tell me, Luke?"

"Tell you what?"

"After you left River Court…Nathan told me,"

Lucas's face dropped. He couldn't believe his own brother turned on him. He was angry with Nathan for telling. But at the same time, he felt scared because he didn't know how Peyton felt.

"How long have you known for?" she asked.

"Honestly…I've always known,"

Peyton looked at Lucas with confusion.

"Peyton, I was scared to tell you. I mean the last time I tried to tell you, you threw me out of your room. And now, we're just becoming friends again…I just didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose you,"

Peyton thought for a moment, trying to figure out what Lucas was trying to tell her, "What are you trying to say?"

"Look, Nathan already told you, but you need to hear it from me…I love you. I've always had and probably always will. I wanted to tell you so many times that I wanted us to be more than just friends, but I was scared that you didn't feel the same way,"

Lucas waited for Peyton to respond, but she sat there frozen in front of him with wide eyes. Clearly, she wasn't expecting Lucas to confess his love for her.

"Wow," she finally managed to say, "I…I don't know what to say," she finished with a giggle.

Her laugh made Lucas feel rejected. He could feel his heart beginning to painfully rip apart. She didn't feel the same way, or so he thought.

"Lucas, I'm going to be honest with you…you know when we lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling, not talking? Well, that's when I wonder if we could ever be more than just friends. Because I don't think it's possible for me to love you just as a friend," She reached for his hand and held it, "I still want the same things you do,"

Lucas returned the smile and leaned in to kiss her. It was a simple kiss on the lips, but they both felt the same thing: love.

"Wow," Peyton said.

"Yeah, wow," he repeated.

"No, I mean 'wow' as in 'wow, that Nathan is good',"

"Huh?"

Peyton laughed, "Nathan told me that a heart specialist called you and told you that they mixed up the test results. He said your heart wasn't ok and that I should talk to you,"

"Yeah, a heart specialist named Nathan Scott," he shook his head, laughing. "I think we owe that specialist a little visit," Lucas got off the bed and Peyton followed.

"Hey, I think it's time for you to see a new specialist," Peyton joked as she grabbed his hand. "Come here," Peyton wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, "From now on, I'll be the one looking after your heart,"

The two shared another happy smile before they locked themselves into a long awaited passionate kiss.


	6. I'm Not Made Of Steel

I've got two updates up this week because I'm taking a little vacation. So I won't be update till I get back (about three weeks). Anyways, hope you're enjoying the story so far and I hope that the timeline is now easier to follow. We're still about 4-5 chapters away till the heart attack actually happens. Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or the characters.  
Title of chapter is a song by Our Lady Peace

* * *

**Chapter 5: (I'm Not) Made of Steel**

_To every story there is a hero. A hero is defined as a person who is able to overcome obstacles and achieve great things or who is able to demonstrate strength and courage. But every hero also has a weakness and in this story, I am a hero with a weakness; a weakness that was strong in enough to turn me into a villain…_

_About a month after college graduation, Peyton and I were married in Tree Hill. It was also a week before we went on our separate ways to begin our respective careers. It wasn't a typical marriage to say the least, but we were both ecstatic to officially become devoted to each other._

_While Peyton moved to New York to work for a music magazine, I moved to Toronto, Ontario, where I was drafted in the first round to the Raptors. I gelled with the team quickly and helped the team make the playoffs for the first time in three years. We were one game away from the finals and that's when I started to falter…_

* * *

**Flashback: May 2011**

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Lucas angrily asked into the phone.

"Lucas, I have a deadline to make,"

"But this game is important. We lose and we're out. We win and we're in the finals,"

"Yeah, I know how game sevens work," Peyton exhaled into the phone. "Lucas, if I could, you know I'd be there, but the magazine goes to press at midnight and I still have to piece out the lay out and re-edit all the rewrites,"

"You always do this," he whined.

"I'm sorry," Peyton was beginning to get tired of hearing Lucas complaining but tried to remain calm. Knowing Lucas was already under a lot of stress, she didn't want to upset Lucas any further.

"Every time I need you to be there for me you're never there. Ever since you got that promotion you've always been putting your work first,"

"You know that's **NOT** true,"

"No? Well, what about last month when you were supposed to visit?"

"That's not fair, Luke. My flight was cancelled,"

"Well, why couldn't you fly out the night before like we planned? Oh that's right, you had to work late,"

Her frustration began to build up inside her. She hated fighting with him, especially over the phone. She was on the verge of crying, "This isn't fair,"

"Fair? Peyton I haven't seen you in two months because YOU keep putting me off for work. You know for just this one time…one time only, I ask that my wife will be there with me, cheering me on,"

Peyton couldn't believe what she had just heard. "You know very well that I will always be right behind you. Just because I won't be there doesn't mean I won't be supporting you. I love you, Lucas,"

Lucas breathed heavily. He hated fighting just as much as she did. He actually didn't mean to pick a fight with her, but the importance of the game was getting to him. The fact that he missed Peyton didn't help much either. He rubbed his head and exhaled. Lucas knew he had to calm down and soon, "Yeah, I gotta go,"

The phone call left Peyton a little shaken. She felt as though her marriage was already on a one-way street to divorce. Could their long distance marriage really work? Her doubting mind told her no but her heart screamed yes.

A tear slid down her face. She replaced the phone back onto its cradle and cried softly as she put her head into her hands. She became lost in her own world and didn't hear the knock at her door.

Soon, a hand on her shoulder startled her back into reality. "Peyton, are you OK?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine, Mike," she sniffed and grabbed a tissue from her desk.

"Something tells me that it had something to do with that phone call," He leaned onto her desk, hinting that he wasn't going to leave that easily.

Mike O'Dell was the magazine's editor in chief, also Peyton's boss. He was in his early 40's but was very attractive for his age. He kept himself in shape with morning runs and protein shakes. Although his hair was a salt and pepper colour, he still had a full head of hair and no indication that he was losing it any time soon.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he put his hand over hers.

Peyton shook her head, 'no'. She also slipped her hand from under his and began to flip through the pile of articles that were stacked on her desk, "no, it's okay, really,"

Mike took the hint, "K, if you say so. But if you need someone to talk to, I'll be here," Mike's intentions were gentlemanly. He was only concerned about Peyton. He had initially hired Peyton as a co-op student, but since she learned the ropes quickly and worked hard, he hired her full time after graduation. Six months later, he promoted her to editor. It was hard to find dedicated people who loved their job and Mike didn't want to lose Peyton.

"Hey, listen," he said before leaving, "I know Lucas's game is on tonight, so I'll send Robin and Michelle in to help you out so you can make it in time for the fourth quarter, at least,"

"No, Mike. It's alright, really. I just want to make sure this lay out is perfect, besides, they'll only slow me down," she said with a smile.

"Peyton, you work too hard. It's almost like this is your own magazine,"

She smiled politely as she walked Mike out of her office. To ensure her privacy, she locked the door behind him. She turned on her mini stereo and grabbed the layouts off her desk. After spreading them on the floor, Peyton pulled her curly locks into a ponytail and kicked her heels off before getting to work. Working on the magazine was the only escape Peyton had. It was almost like sketching. She didn't have to think about her problems. I was just her and the paper staring back at her, waiting to come to life. As she pieced the layout together, Lucas and Mike's words echoed in her head, suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

* * *

Peyton unlocked the door to the suite and let herself in. She dropped her suitcases and purse on the ground and shut the door behind her. Exhausted, she locked the door and left her bags at the door. She hadn't slept all night and the bags under her eyes proved it. Peyton had finished the layout of the magazine jus tin time for the midnight deadline. After leaving her office, she packed up her apartment in New York and then took the first flight out to Toronto. 

Lucas was still sound asleep in his bed. Peyton stood at the foot of the bed and watched him sleep peacefully. She smiled. She missed her husband so much. Feeling the fatigue setting in, Peyton removed her jacked and skirt and joined Lucas in bed. She crawled under the blue covers on the left side of the bed.

Peyton gently cradled his face and kissed his forehead. Resting her head on a bare-chested Lucas, she listened to his steady heartbeat before falling into a deep slumber.

Later that morning, Lucas began to stir. He felt the warmth of the body lying beside him. Lucas didn't even have to open his eyes to know t was Peyton. Making sure he wasn't dreaming, Lucas opened his eyes and saw the infamous curly blonde locks. He wrapped an arm around her and stroked her hair with his other. Lucas couldn't feel any happier to have his wife back in his arms.

Feeling Lucas gently rubbing her head, Peyton awoke. "Hey," she said groggily as she lifted her head to see Lucas.

"Hey," he kissed her forehead.

Peyton rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and sat up. She pulled her tank top back down, covering her stomach. Lucas sat up and rested his back on the headboard. "You look tired," he said as he got a better look at her.

"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night," Peyton admitted.

"Right, the deadline," Last nights conversation came flooding back to him.

"Lucas, I don't want to fight anymore," she dejectedly said.

"I don't either. I'm sorry,"

"I'm sorry too,"

"Come here," Lucas offered, opening his arms to allow Peyton to cuddle up beside him.

"I watched the game while I worked…sorry,"

"Nah, don't be. It's just a game. I'm the one who should be sorry…I was a jerk. I didn't mean to get mad at you earlier about not being there…"

"Lucas, I need to tell you something,"

"What?"

"After I handed in the layout, I resigned. I quit my job,"

Although the news shocked him, he was more than thrilled to hear it. "But I thought you loved your job,"

"I did. But I love you more,"

"Peyt…"

Shaking her head, she told him that her mind was already made up, "Luke, our marriage isn't even a year old and seems like it's falling apart…we never see each other and all we do is fight. I want us to go back to the way things were,"

"Are you sure about this?"

Quitting her job was the last thing she wanted to do. She loved what she did but her marriage to Lucas was more important and if their marriage was going to survive, something had to give. Peyton also had another career plan in mind, but wasn't ready to share it was Lucas just yet. "Yeah, I'm sure," she answered with a fake smile.

Lucas knew the fake Peyton smile very well and knew that this wasn't what she really wanted. Usually Lucas would call her on it, but this time he never questioned it. He was getting what he wanted – he didn't have to give up his career and he was also getting his wife back.


	7. I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Finally, an update! I hope you haven't forgotten about this story. I apologize for the delay, but after my vacation, I had jetlag and became lazy. But it was awesome to read the reviews when I got back...thanks to all! I hope you like this chapter as well and the next one should be up in a couple of days. Keep reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the OTH characters. Title of the chapter is a song by Lit.

* * *

**Chapter 6 (I Am) My Own Worst Enemy**

_Looking at my life from the outside, you could say that I was living a fairytale ending. I may not have deserved it all, but I had everything I had ever dreamed of: I had a wonderful wife, two great kids and I was playing some of the best basketball of my career. Who knew that it would all change in a heart beat…_

_

* * *

_

**June 2017**

"Damn it, Luke…where the hell are you?" Peyton whispered angrily into the phone. It was the fifth time that night she had gotten Lucas's voice mail. "It's almost 9 and Roewan wants to know why his father isn't home to celebrate his birthday. If you don't come home soon…" Peyton choked out, frustrated tears.

For the past month, Lucas had not been acting like himself. He was hardly around for Peyton or the kids anymore. He'd stay out late and would sleep all day. She noticed the sudden change in behaviour but figured that it was because his team was vying for the last playoff spot and Lucas was stressed out. She wanted to talk to him about it but was worried that it would just stress him out even more. Missing his son's birthday was the last straw.

Wiping the tears, Peyton hung up the phone and carefully lit the 5 candles on the chocolate cake. Composing herself, she took a deep breath, picked up the cake and made her way to the dining room where Roewan and his 2 year old sister, Sawyer, were waiting.

Entering the room, Peyton couldn't help but notice the look of disappointment and sadness in Roewan's blue eyes. The look killed Peyton and nearly made her drop the cake. She cursed Lucas in her head for breaking her son's heart. Sawyer, on the other hand, was still too young to understand and was overjoyed when she saw the chocolate cake.

Luckily for the 28-year-old blonde, she had years of experience at hiding her feelings. She plastered on her fake, excited smile and began to sing 'happy birthday'.

"Wait, don't blow out the candles yet. I want to take a picture," Peyton set the cake down and grabbed the digital camera. Focusing the camera on Roewan, Peyton couldn't bring herself to snap the picture. She knew she didn't need a picture to remember her son's sad eyes; it was already etched into her head.

* * *

**Later that evening…**

With a frustrated sigh, Peyton threw her sketchbook onto the coffee table. She lay down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling for a while. She was beginning to get tired of waiting for Lucas to come home. Turning her head, she stared at the pile of magazines on the table.

Peyton sat back up and reached for her bag. She fumbled through it until she found the book she was looking for. The book wasn't another sketchbook. This one was filled with ideas for her own magazine.

She had started it the night she quit her job in New York to be with Lucas. Peyton had intended on starting it up as soon as possible, but life just got in her way. During the basketball season, she'd travel with Lucas on road games and a couple of years later, she was busy raising Roewan and a couple year after that, Sawyer. But the main thing that prevented her from going through with the project was her old friend, self doubt. She was scared that she wouldn't be able to do it. It scared her enough to keep it a secret from Lucas.

Her mind became focused on her dream career. Thoughts about the day seemed to disappear as fresh ideas about the magazine began to take control. Unfortunately, her moment of calmness ended as Lucas suddenly stumbled through the front door.

Startled, Peyton looked up to see a drunk Lucas, trying to regain his balance. "Hi, honey," he slurred.

The sight of her husband not only brought back the anger, but also left her speechless.

"Aww, you didn't have to wait up for me,"

"I don't believe this. You know you're not supposed to be drinking…damn it Luke. Where the hell have you been?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders, "Out?"

"Out…" she pressed her lips together, trying to keep herself from yelling. She didn't want to wake up the kids. Peyton took a deep breath to calm herself down, but it didn't work. She slammed her book down on the couch and stormed over to Lucas.

"You don't look too happy to see me,"

"Do NOT say another word, " she glared at him.

"Wow, if looks could kil…OK, got it…not another word,"

"You know, Luke, I've been pretty damn patient with you lately…you've been coming home later than usual…drunk I may add…you never spend any time with the kids or with me and I never once questioned it, but after what you did to our son… it ENDS tonight!"

With her face in his, Lucas could now see her fury. He began to realize that she was seriously upset with him. But he didn't have a clue why.

"You don't remember do you?"

Lucas stood still, trying to think.

"Jeez, Luke…your son…his **birthday**!"

His face dropped. Lucas couldn't believe had had forgotten. "I…I'm so sorry,"

Peyton shook her head in disbelief. She didn't want to believe that Lucas would forget something important. "Unbelievable…sorry isn't good enough anymore. You say it all the time, but you never mean it cause you do it all over again. Look, you can disappoint me or upset me all you want, but you are not going to do that to my kids. I'm not going to let you do that to them they deserve better,"

Lucas broke his eye contact with Peyton, but he could still feel her disappointment in him. He slowly walked passed her and sat down on the couch. With his head in his hands he thought about how careless and negligent he had been. His eyes then fell onto Peyton's open sketchbook that was sitting on the coffee table. He saw a disheartened Roewan sitting alone in front of his birthday cake. Seeing the sketch somewhat sobered Lucas up. He reached out for the book, but Peyton moved it aside and sat down on the table, directly across from a tearing Lucas.

Peyton's anger for Lucas subsided as she saw the guilt and ache in his face. Deep down she knew Lucas loved his children and never intended on hurting his son. Up until a month ago, Lucas was a great father who was always making time for his family. His sudden change in personality made her wonder.

Gently, she took his hands into hers, "Lucas, what's going on? Are you stressed?"

Lucas avoided Peyton's eyes by starting at the floor.

She kept on guessing, hoping he'd talk to her, "Is it because of basketball? Playoffs?"

Lucas shook his head 'no'

"Is it something I did?"

"No," he replied quietly, still avoiding her eyes.

"Ar…are you having an affair?" Peyton stammered.

"No," he immediately answered.

She was relieved to hear the answer. She knew Lucas wouldn't cheat on her, but her mind had to know for sure. "Then tell me," she watched the tears well up in his eyes again and it was beginning to scare her. "Lucas, please don't shut me out. You're scaring me,"

Lucas wiped his eyes, "I'm not shutting you out. It's nothing. Don't worry about it," he stood up and headed towards the stairs.

"Lucas," she called out to him, but he was already up the stair. The tears she had been holding back finally fell from her eyes. Alone in the living room, Peyton wept. She wrapped her arms around he small body, hugging herself tightly. She felt helpless and scared and didn't know what to do next.

* * *

**Morning…**

The banging of the closet door and slamming of drawers woke a slumbering Lucas.

"mmm…Peyton, I'm trying to sleep," Lucas moaned as he pulled a pillow over his head. It was an ill attempt at trying to shut out a furious Peyton. She continued to slam the drawers shut and stomp across the room.

Finally Lucas couldn't take it anymore. He sat up and glared at Peyton until he saw what she was doing, "Peyton? What are you doing?"

"OH, so now you want to talk?" Peyton asked rhetorically as she folded a pair of jeans into his black suitcase.

"Peyton, where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere," she said bitterly, "You are,"

"What? Why? Just cause I don't tell you what's going…you're gonna kick me out?" Lucas asked angrily and jumped out of bed.

"So you admit that you're shutting me out?" Peyton waited for Lucas to answer but he never gave her one. "You know, shutting people out and pushing people away…that used to be my thing, but do you know why I don't do it anymore? Because I realized how lonely it got and it wasn't anybody's fault but my own. Not only that, but I have a family with two kids who need me…and they need you too Luke….I need you,"

Lucas stood in front of Peyton with his hands on his hips, he focused his eyes on the window as if it was his only escape from the conversation. Peyton couldn't read his face; there was no emotion.

"I will always be by your side, Luke," she said softly, "Never question that, but right now I've got our kids to think about. They can't be around this. So unless you tell me that's going on, I don't have any other choice,"

After waiting several moments for Lucas to answer, Peyton gave up and resumed packing.

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts and reached for her hands, "Peyton, stop. Please,"

"Give me a reason to," She turned and looked up into his eyes, but his avoided hers. With a delicate hand she turned his face towards hers. "Please, Lucas,"

Lucas saw Peyton pleading with him through her eyes, but couldn't find the words to tell her what was going on.

Disappointed that he didn't open up to her, Peyton pushed him away from her and slammed the suitcase shut. Although she felt like breaking down, she remained strong and held back her tears. Throwing him out was the last thing Peyton wanted to do, but she couldn't watch Lucas slowly destroy his life anymore and she wouldn't let their kids watch it either.

"Do you need anything before I go?" he asked.

Peyton continued to ignore him as she picked up her suitcase.

"Do you have enough money?"

"Damn it, Luke, I don't need your money…I just need my husband back,"

Without looking back, Peyton stormed out of the room, leaving a troubled Lucas alone in the room. As he watched Peyton walk out, his heart ached, not just emotionally, but physically. Dispassionately, Lucas walked over to his side of the bed.

He completely ignored the bottle of Propranolol pills, the drug that he had been using ever since he was diagnosed with HCM, which was resting on the nightstand. Instead he opened the drawer. Hiding in the back of the drawer, he pulled out another bottle of pills. This bottle was filled with Amiodarone, a much stronger medication. Without hesitation, he opened the bottle and swallowed a pill without water. He stared at the bottle with tears welling in his eyes as he felt the pill slowly slide down his dry throat.

Exhaling deeply, Lucas put the bottle of pills into his suitcase. Without any hurry whatsoever, Lucas wiped the tears away and stood up. He then headed to his son's room to make amends with him before it was time for them to say goodbye.

**A/N: I pulled the names of the HCM drugs off the net. This may not be accurate information!**


	8. Bring Back The Sun

You guys are right, Lucas's heart attack-which is planned for chapter 8- is due to the fact that his heart has gotten weaker. I believe that he isn't able to tell Peyton about it is because he is scared himself and he doesn't want to put her through that either. He also doesn't want people telling him to quit playing basketball – he wants to finish the season first. I hope this makes some sense.

Disclaimer: I claim nothing belonging to the OTH creators.  
Title of this chapter is a song by Our Lady Peace.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Bring Back The Sun**

_I guess I never thought that my decision would have such an affect on not only my health, but also my family. At the time I thought I was protecting my family, but in the end it was what drove them away. I am now alone without a family and I am to blame. It may be too late to take back all the things I've done, but it's not too late to become the man they need me to be._

_

* * *

_

**June 2017**

Haley entered Peyton's living room, carrying a bowl of freshly popped popcorn in one hand and two tubs of ice cream, with two spoons, in the other.

"Alright, I couldn't decide if I wanted popcorn, chocolate ice cream or pralines and cream ice cream…so I got them all," she said setting them down on the coffee table.

"Aw, Hales, you rock!" Peyton remarked as she grabbed a handful of the buttery popcorn.

After Peyton's fight with Lucas earlier that week, Nathan and Haley arrived in Toronto with their two children. Since Nathan's team, the Celtics were defeated in the first round, Nathan and Haley decided to watch Lucas play in game six of the NBA finals. They were unaware of Lucas's radical behaviour and were very surprised when they found out that Peyton had kicked him out of their home.

Nathan had taken all four kids to the arena to watch the game in person. His braveness to watch all four Scott kids on his own, who were all under the age of six, not only let Lucas's kids to watch their father play, but it also gave Peyton time to talk to Haley and try to figure things out.

"Hey, without the kids and Nathan around, I can finally get a tub of ice cream to myself," shrugged Haley, who had a mouthful of ice cream. "So what's the score?"

"80-68, Houston. Looks like there will be a game 7,"

"You think you gonna go to that one?"

"I don't know…do you think I should?"

"Well, it's not like Lucas plays in a game 7 of an NBA finals everyday. Hell, I don't even like basketball and I want to go,"

"I told you could have gone with them tonight,"

"No way, honey. Game 6 and game 7 - totally different. Game 6 is like, you win–'yay', you lose – 'great, another game'," she rolled her eyes before continuing, "Now game 7 it's like win or die, you know,"

"Yea, I guess…you know, I want to be there for him and support him, but how can I if he won't let me be there for him? Things are just so complicated right now,"

"So…then uncomplicated them,"

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Yeah, easier said then done,"

"Look, I don't mean to pry, but considering Lucas hasn't been acting like himself lately…I am actually worried about him,"

"I am too, but what else can I do? He won't talk to me or anyone,"

"You know, if this was any other guy…I'd say walk away, Peyton. You don't need a brooding husband who's never around, but with Lucas…it's just different. Don't give up on him…if he needs time, just give it to him. He'll come around,"

Peyton pulled her long legs into her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She knew Haley was right and if she wanted to save her marriage, she'd have to try again.

"What's on your mind, Peyt?"

Sighing, she looked at Haley before looking away. Peyton felt vulnerable and guilty of leaving, "I think about it every night when I can lie in bed. I just don't understand how I could let things get this bad. I mean I am his wife and I'm supposed to be there for him, but when things got rough…I threw him out…"

"Hey, this isn't your fault. You did the right thing,"

She wiped a tear from her eye before continuing, "I just don't get it. You know, I'm supposed to be the one who builds walls to hide my feelings or the one who pushes people away and he's supposed to be the one who is strong and is…able to take care of things…God, Hales. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something…I don't know what to do,"

Understanding what Peyton was saying, Haley nodded her head and put her hand on her friends arm. "Do what he did with you…break down his walls,"

* * *

**Two Days Later…**

Game seven of the finals was being held at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. The morning of the big game, Peyton flew her family with Nathan and Haley and checked themselves into the same hotel as the visiting players. Even though Peyton still hadn't talked to Lucas, she decided that it would be best to bring the kids out to watch their father play.

That afternoon was also the day Peyton decided that her and Lucas would finally talk about their current situation. The only thing was, she had no idea what she would say. Nervously biting her thumbnail, she paced back and forth in her room as scenarios occupied her mind.

Suddenly a knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.

The door creaked open as Lucas appeared on the other side of the door. His disheveled hair matched his scruffy, unshaven face. Peyton also noticed that her husband looked leaner and the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn't slept well since she had last seen him.

"Lucas?" she was taken aback by his appearance "Are you ok? You look like hell,"

Lucas rubbed the stubble on his face before running the same hand through his mop of hair. "Yeah, thanks," he chuckling at his greeting, "I'm ok…Just game seven, I guess,"

"No, I mean…you look tired and you look…sick," without hesitating, Peyton gently placed a hand on his forehead to feel his temperature.

As the touch of her soft, warm hand touched his face, Lucas closed his eyes with comfort. The corner of his mouth curled into a smile as he remembered her touch, "I'm doing much better now that you're here,"

"I'm serious Luke, when was the last time you ate? Did you take your medication?"

"I just had lunch and yes I took a pill this morning," he said reassuringly.

"Oh," she took her hand back and felt embarrassed for questioning him like a worry-wart, "Um, they kids aren't here if you're looking for them. They went out with Nathan and Haley,"

"Yeah, I saw them in the lobby downstairs, but I didn't come to see them,"

"Oh…um, wanna come in?" Peyton stepped aside, allowing Lucas into the room.

His smile slightly calmed her churning stomach and caused her to let out a small smile of her own. She had missed being with him dearly.

"So, what brings you by?" she wondered.

He too was nervous and was lost for words. All he wanted to do was make things right, but he didn't know how, "I…um… just wanted to see how you were doing,"

Peyton nodded her head, "I'm doing OK...considering," She began to hope that there was more behind his visit. But when he said nothing else, she took the initiative, "Lucas, since you're here, I was thinking, maybe we could talk?"

"Sure," he softly agreed.

"um…come on," Peyton made her way over to the bed and laid down comfortably. She timidly looked at Lucas and patted the other side of the bed with her hand, asking Lucas to join her.

Lucas shrugged off her strange request and walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down. Side by side, they both looked up at the plain white ceiling. They could now both could feel the awkward tension growing between them.

"Remember back in high school when we used to do this…you know, just stare up at the ceiling and pretend that it was just the two of us?" Peyton reflected.

"Yeah,"

"And we could just talk about anything?"

"Peyton…"

She turned her head to face him, "Lucas, please. We used to be able to talk about everything. Why has it been so hard lately?"

Lucas looked away, hiding his tears.

"Look, I know that this is probably not the greatest time with the game and all, but I need to know where we stand…where our marriage stands,"

He turned his head back towards Peyton, "I…um," Lucas stammered as he tried to find the words to say.

Sitting up, Peyton continued, "Lucas, I don't want to lose you…and I'm sorry that I kicked out when you probably needed me the most, but I'm here now and I'm not going to give up," Tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Hey," Lucas said in a calm voice. He sat up and took his wife into his arms, trying to take away her sadness. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," Lucas leaned back and looked into Peyton's eyes, "You had every right to kick me out…I was a jerk. I know that. You were just looking out for our kids… and it was probably for the best,"

"Lucas, you know it was only temporary," Peyton said desperately trying to get Lucas to understand her actions, "I don't want you out of their lives… or mine. I just didn't know how to help you and I got mad and scared,"

"Hey, I know," he interrupted. "I know. I just meant that since I've been gone, I've had time to think about things,"

"Like what?"

Exhaling, Lucas answered, "Look, I know I haven't been the husband or father that I should have been and I'm sorry for that. But things are going to change. I've decided that… that this is going to be my last game,"

"Last game? What are you talking about?"

"I'm gonna…retire," it was an easy decision for him, yet so hard for him to say, "I realized that without you and the kids, basketball isn't worth my life. I need to put my family first…and I want to be around for my family. I want us to watch Roewan and Sawyer to grow up together,"

"Luke…what are you talking about? You have been and we will in their lives. It's just the past couple of months have been stressful for you, but the doctors said that as long as you get your heart checked regularly, you don't have to give up basketball,"

Lucas nodded his head as tears formed in his eyes. "Yeah, I do," he softly said.

Peyton cradled his face, sensing there was something he was holding back from her, "Why, Luke?"

With his hand, he gently removed her hand from his face and held it. He looked into her worrying eyes. The news of his health would only add fear to them and he couldn't do that. In that second he made the decision not to tell her yet.

He wiped his red eyes and got off the bed, "Can we talk later? I need to get ready for the game,"

"Lucas? Wait, why can't you tell me now?" she demanded as she followed him off the bed.

"Because I don't want you to worry,"

Peyton stood in front of her husband and blocked his path to the door. Nothing made sense to her. There was something else that he wasn't telling her, "Tell me what's going on. Please, Luke. Just tell me,"

"I will. After the game, it'll just be you and me. We'll work everything out then…I promise," he gently let his forehead rest on hers.

A few seconds later, Lucas made his way to the door with Peyton in tow.

Peyton watched Lucas open the door, "Lucas…" she pleaded in soft voice.

Instead of giving into her plea, Lucas gently pushed her curly bangs out of her eyes and kissed her forehead. "I love you,"

She stared deeply into his soft, comforting eyes that knew exactly how to make her give in easily. Peyton never quite understood how he did it, but every time he looked at her that way she never won an argument – no matter how stubborn she was.

Peyton threw her arms tightly around him. She too had missed him dearly and longed for his touch and comfort. Lucas slowly wrapped his arms around her slender waist and held her, welcoming her embrace. He buried his face into her neck, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Together they took in the moment as neither of them never wanted to let each other go.

* * *

Back in his own room, Lucas let out a heavy sigh as he plopped himself on his bed. His conversation with Peyton replayed in his mind. He wondered how things could have been different if he told her. He also wondered why he didn't tell her.

Lucas reached across the bed for his brown leather journal that was sitting on his nightstand. His back settled up against the headboard as he flipped through the manila coloured pages until he found a blank page after his last entry. With his black pen, he began to write out some of his thoughts:

_After all the things that Peyton and I have been through, how could I be so selfish to think that what I am doing is right? Ever since we've been together, she had been my rock…the only person who understood me and who was there for me. So why couldn't I tell her that my heart condition worsened and that I was told to quit playing professional basketball? _

_Maybe it's because I never wanted Peyton to worry about me or feel as scared as I was every time I stepped onto the court. Maybe it's because I knew she would make me obey the doctor's order and quit playing that second... I just need one more game before I can prove it to them. I know I can take care of myself and when I get myself through this last game, I'll be OK...we'll be OK._


	9. Somewhere In Between

Disclaimer: Title of the chapter is a song by Lifehouse

* * *

**Chapter 8: Somewhere In Between**

Peyton Scott stood behind the Raptors' bench with Roewan, Haley, Nathan and their two kids. Karen, who was holding Sawyer, was seated behind them with Keith. The entire arena was cheering on their feet as the clock counted down. Excitement and nervousness filled the air as the home team, Houston, was up by 1 with less then ten seconds remaining in the championship game.

10…9…8…

Peyton, along with the 20,701 fans in the sold out arena kept their eyes on Lucas, who held the ball at the top of the three-point arc.

7…6…

Peyton's heart pumped faster and faster as the time continued towards zero. Nervous knots began to form in the stomach. She held onto her son's hand and squeezed it tightly. Unlike his mother, Roewan couldn't contain his excitement and began jumping up and down, cheering on his father. They watched on as Lucas leaned forward into his check, creating space between him and his defender, as he prepared for his patented move.

5…

As Lucas made his first step, Peyton's cheerleading persona automatically kicked in as she pumped her free hand into the air and cheered. Lucas dribbled and drove hard to the right of the basket. His opponent, who anticipated the move, smiled as he quickly shuffled to his left and was now in Lucas's path to the basket. Lucas grinned and winked at the defender.

4…

Lucas planted his left foot at the top corner of the key and quickly spun to the left, losing his opponent in the process. Lucas now had a clear chance to win the game. Collectively, everyone in the building drew in their last breath as they watched Lucas calmly pick up the orange ball. Peyton's eyes widened in excitement and leaned forward, anticipating the last shot of the game.

3…2…

She watched Lucas release his fade away shot with a smooth follow through. As the orange ball arched towards the hoop, everything began to move in slow motion. All eyes were now on the ball, except for Peyton's. Oddly, her eyes remained on her husband as he was still in the air with his right arm still extended in the air. A terrible feeling tore through her body.

1…

Milliseconds before the buzzer ran, Peyton let go of Roewan's hand and stepped around him. Nobody seemed to notice Lucas clutching his chest as his body collapse on the hardwood, except for a frightened Peyton, who was already making her way down to the court.

By the time Peyton reached the last step, the majority of the fans fell back into their seats in disbelief as Lucas's game winning shot hit nothing but net. The small group of Toronto fans began to jump and cheer in celebration, still unaware of Lucas collapsing on the floor in pain. As Lucas's teammates ran onto the court from the bench to celebrate, Peyton was stopped in her tracks.

"Sorry, ma'am, you're not allowed on the court," a security guard declared.

"I have to get to my husband!" Peyton yelled and tried to push past the bulky man.

"You're not allowed on the court," he bellowed again, this time putting his hand on Peyton's shoulders, trying to keep her from going past him.

Peyton was burning up with anger inside and her face was becoming a frustrated red. She knew her husband needed her and she desperately wanted to get to him. In her mind, nobody was going to get between her and Lucas. Peyton was about to let the security guard get a piece of her wrath, when she heard Nathan's threatening voice behind her.

"Hey! Get your hands off her and let her go!"

"Mr. Scott…"

Before the security guard could say anything more, Nathan was already escorting his sister-in-law onto the court as quickly as he could. Nathan had seen Peyton bolt from her seat and didn't understand why until he looked back onto the court. The second he saw his brother lying lifelessly on the court, Nathan was right behind Peyton.

Tears were now streaming down Peyton's face by the time she reached Lucas. Falling to her knees beside the limp body, she carefully cradled Lucas's face. She wiped the sweat off his brow and pushed his hair back. "Wake up. Please," she cried. "Lucas! Wake up!" she said more frantically.

Seconds later, Nathan arrived with the athletic trainers and paramedics in tow. Nathan's hands were on her shoulders, trying to gently pull her off her husband, but Peyton refused to leave Lucas's side.

"Come on, Peyt, You need to give them room to work. Come on," Nathan said calmly as help finally reached Lucas.

Reluctantly, Peyton let go of Lucas as Nathan helped her to her feet. As one trainer prepared to perform CPR, another prepared the defibrillator. Instinctively, Nathan turned Peyton around knowing that seeing Lucas being shocked back to life with the last thing Peyton should witness. Distraught, Peyton buried her face into Nathan's chest and clung onto his shirt.

"I can't lose him…I can't…"Peyton sobbed.

Nathan held Peyton tightly, as he too was scared of losing his big brother. "We're not going to lose him. He's strong, Peyt. He'll make it,"

Everything around them seemed to speed up. A hush began to fill the air as the players and fans finally realized what was going on. They all watched on in horror as the paramedics ripped Lucas's black jersey open and placed two paddles on his chest.


	10. Hold On

A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter. Originally it was two separate chapters, but I rearranged/rewrote some stuff and turned it into one. And now the chapter you've all been waiting for - Lucas's fate is finally revealed...

Disclaimer - I don't claim anything, just the plot. Title of the chapter is a song by Sarah McLachlan

* * *

**  
**

**Chapter 9: Hold On**

_Basketball isn't my life. Sure, it's an important part of my life, but in the end, basketball is and always will be just a game. I now know that my life was Roewan, Sawyer and Peyton…it is my family. And as my life flashed before my eyes; I saw how I had let them down; I had let my wife selflessly sacrifice her own dreams for me; I had disappointed my kids by not being there for them; and I wasn't about to disappoint them again. _

_So as I lay there on the hardwood, drifting in and out of consciousness, I prayed for one thing…the strength to fight for my family. I promised myself that if I was given another chance, I'd tell them how sorry I was for not being the father or husband they needed me to be and that I would never left them down again. I was prepared to fight forever just to get my life back.

* * *

_

"Brooke, stop crying," Peyton tiredly said into her cell phone.

The moment Brooke heard about Lucas collapsing on the court, she immediately dialed her best friend. Brooke, who was living with Felix and their son Alex in Tree Hill, was unable to fly out to watch the game because of Alex's kindergarten graduation.

"I'm sorry," Brooke cried into the phone, "I wish I was there with you,"

Exhaling into the phone, "I know, listen, I have to go," Peyton didn't feel like talking anymore, let alone comfort Brooke. With all the worry and wondering of her own, Peyton was feeling drained and just wanted to be alone for a while.

"Okay, but the second that you find out about how Lucas is doing, you'll…"

"…you'll be the first person I call," Peyton finished Brooke's sentence.

"I love you, P. Scott,"

"Yeah, me too," Peyton hung up her cell and walked along the hospital corridor.

She made her way back to the waiting room, where her family was. Her hand was on the door, but she stopped herself from opening the door. She could see the tear stained faces of Karen and Haley, both being consoled by their respective husbands, who were also in disbelief. Peyton looked to the other side of the bleak white room through the glass window and saw all four Scott children sleeping. Roewan sat in the same chair as Sawyer, with her head resting on his shoulder. Roewan's younger cousins were also leaning on him for support.

Seeing that her children were ok for the moment, Peyton saw no point in entering. She felt as though she couldn't just sit around while waiting to hear news about Lucas's condition or be comforted by Haley or Karen because the only person she wanted to be comforted by was Lucas. Turning away from the waiting room, she made her way back down the long hallway.

At the end of the hall, Peyton automatically turned the corner and found herself walking down a deserted hall. The further she walked, the quieter it became. With her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets, Peyton's head hung low as she watched the moving floor beneath her feet. Suddenly a metal tray crashed down onto the floor behind her, breaking the calm silence. Startled, Peyton turned around to see a nurse picking up the contents down the hall.

Minding her own business, Peyton was about to continue with her walk when she noticed a set of doors to her right. These brown doors stood out from the rest of the pale white doors. From the windows of the peculiar doors, Peyton could see faint lights flickering about inside. A part of her wanted to keep walking, but another part of her wanted her to go in.

She looked down one side of the hallway, then to the other side. Seeing that no one was watching her, Peyton slowly made her way to the door. Gently, she pulled the heavy door open. Cautiously, she stepped into the dimly lit room, still unsure of whether or not she belonged there. With some hesitation, she finally closed the door behind her and glanced around the room. Straight ahead of her were rows of empty pews. In the front of the room, she saw a small alter with a large cross hanging above it on the wall. To her left, she gradually made her way to the rows of candles.

Standing in front of the candles, she picked up a wick and held into one of the already glowing candles. Carefully, she lifted it out of the flame and lit an unlit candle before blowing out the wooden wick.

Now standing in a pew, Peyton nervously sat down while keeping her eyes up at the cross. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to be in there in the first place. With the exception of her marriage to Lucas and the christenings of their children, the only other memories of being in a church were never happy ones – as a result, she wasn't exactly a regular visitor.

Shaking slightly, Peyton kneeled down and made the sign of the cross.

"Bet you never thought you'd see me come in on my own, did you? Believe me, I didn't either," Peyton said with an uneasy laugh. "Actually, I don't even know why I'm here…I just um…I guess I didn't know where else to go,"

Peyton paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I know we don't talk much and I'm pretty sure You've got other important stuff to worry about…so I'll make this one quick. I know for whatever reason You need Lucas, I mean we all need him…and well this is the second time that he di..." she cut herself short from saying the word. Peyton couldn't bring herself to say it in the same sentence as his name. She carefully chose her words.

"Um…this is the second time he's been knocking at your door. And if for whatever reason you answer the door this time, please take care of him. Tell him I love him and ask my mother to look after him. I know they'd get along…" She held back her tears with everything inside her. The thoughts of loosing her husband scared her and she wasn't ready to.

Her fears and angers flowing inside her somehow gave her the strength not to give up, "I know I can't fight You, but I am begging you… please don't take him away from me. Maybe he hasn't been the same person I fell in love with, but when it comes down to it…he's still Lucas…and I still love him. I still need him in my life,"

Peyton choked back her tears. "My children need him. They need both of their parents," Her voice became angrier, "They don't deserve to go through the Hell that I want through when You took my mother away from me. I know how lonely it got and how much it hurts to miss her every single day. I'm not going to let them go through that. I won't go through that pain again…I can't…" exhaustion took over her mind and body.

Shaking with a mixture of worry and helplessness, Peyton's tears began to flow faster. With her arms resting on the bench in front of her, Peyton let her head fall into her arms and began to sob.

Peyton's eyes were closed tight, but there were too many tears too hold back. Her shoulders trembled as she cried aloud. Suddenly Peyton felt a hand gently consoling her back. Without looking up, she welcomed the comfort and found herself holding on to Haley, "Hey," Haley soothed. "Peyton…hun?"

Peyton couldn't answer; she had to let out her fears and frustrations out first. Haley couldn't remember a time seeing Peyton so broken and it broke her own heart as she held a crumbling Peyton.

"Peyton," Haley said softly again, as she tried to hold back her own tears, "It's about Lucas,"

"Lucas?" Peyton sniffed. Like a faucet, she turned off her tears and composed herself. She let go of Haley and wiped her eyes. "What? Where is he?"

Peyton held her breath as she felt her body tensing up, waiting for Haley to answer.

"Lucas…he made it,"

The stress in Peyton's body was released at the good news. In between deep breaths, she laughed and cried at the same time. Haley knew exactly how the tall blonde felt and hugged her friend.

* * *

Peyton Scott sat uncomfortably in the chair beside Lucas's hospital side with Sawyer sleeping in her arms. Roewan sat in a separate chair beside his mother. The room was dark and quiet, with the exception of the monotonous beeping of the heart monitor. It was well past midnight and although Peyton was tired, she remained awake. Besides wanting to be awake when Lucas came out of his slumber, Peyton couldn't sleep because she was trying to make sense of it all. 

"Getting tired yet, bud?" Peyton asked her son. She gently cupped the back of his head with her free hand.

Roewan just shook his head. His eyes stared forward, at his father, who lay still and hooked up to different machines.

"What's up, dude? Why so quiet?"

The little boy looked down and shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing,"

Peyton wrapped her arm around Roewan and pulled him close to her. He leaned his head on his arm for a second before abruptly pulling away. Roewan shifted himself back to the center of his chair.

Her son's action confused her. "What's wrong?"

No answer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Roewan chewed on his thumbnail – a trait he picked up from his mother.

Maybe he's just scared, she thought, "It's scary seeing daddy like this, huh?"

Roewan finally nodded his head.

"I know. It scares me too…but the doctors say that your dad is going to be ok,"

"When is he going to wake up?" Roewan asked quietly without looking at his mother.

"Soon. He just needs to rest a little, ok?"

"Ok,"

"Hey, I'm proud of you, you know,"

"For what?" He asked looking puzzled at his mother.

"For taking care of your little sister when I had to take care of daddy. Even though you were scared you made sure that she wasn't. You're a great big brother you know,"

Roewan flashed a small, timid grin that mirrored his mother's. "Come here," she said as she opened her arm again. Roewan leaned over and rested his head against his mother, just below Sawyer's sleeping head. Peyton wrapped her arm around her son and held him tight. She leaned over and placed a kiss on each of her children's heads.

* * *

Karen knocked softly on the door as she peeked her head into the room. With a warm smile, she softly greeted Peyton. "Hey, Peyton," 

"Karen, hey,"

"Can I talk to you for moment, Peyton?"

The bones in her knees cracked as Peyton carefully stood up. Her body ached form sitting in the chair and from holding Sawyer, who was now awake, for so long. She gently sat Sawyer down in the chair before making her way over to Karen.

"Keith and I are going back to the hotel. I don't think it's a good idea for the kids to stay in the hospital over night. We thought it'd be best if we watch the children while you stay with Lucas,"

"Oh Karen, I'm sorry. No, you should be in her with Lucas. I'll take the kids..."

Karen shook her head, cutting Peyton off.

Peyton knew there was no point in arguing with Karen. Peyton sighed, "Roewan, Sawyer? Can you say 'goodnight' to your dad. It's time to go. Grandma and Grandpa are going to take you back to the hotel,"

Sawyer looked at her older brother, who nodded his head. Roewan got out of his chair first and walked over to the bedside. From where he was standing he could see his father, but he knew Sawyer couldn't. He carefully pushed a chair closer to the bed. From the doorway, Karen and Peyton watched as Roewan then helped his sister climb onto the chair so she could see her father too.

"Roewan reminds me so much of Lucas when he was younger - always thinking about others first," Karen whispered proudly.

"It's because Lucas has a great mother,"

"So does Roewan," She wrapped her arm around Peyton. Peyton smiled and put her rested her head onto Karen's. "Peyton, I know you've had some tough decisions to make…And I just want you to know that I think you've made the right ones,"

Karen's comments caught Peyton off-guard, but at the same time, they comforted her. Peyton had always looked up to Karen, not just because Karen was a generously loving person, but because Karen was always a great mother to Lucas. Often times, Peyton found herself questioning her own mothering skills, since she only had a short time with hers. But even if Peyton didn't know it, that short time she had her mother was enough time to instill those skills in Peyton.

"So how's our boy doing?" Karen asked about Lucas.

"Still asleep…there hasn't been much change,"

Taking note of Peyton's own tired eyes, Karen wondered how Peyton was holding up, "So how are you doing? And don't just say 'fine'," Karen warned.

Peyton let out a grin, "Probably the same as you. Cool on the outside…but on the inside…" It was all she could admit about what she was feeling. Peyton was feeling everything - joy, relief, fear, frustration - and Karen understood completely. "Karen, you sure you don't want to stay? I mean we both could stay here with the kids…"

"Peyton, don't worry about it. I don't mind spending a little more time with my grandchildren. Besides, Lucas doesn't need his mother anymore. You're the one that Lucas needs by his side right now and I know that you're the first person he'll want to see when he wakes up,"

"Thank you, Karen,"

* * *

Peyton stood by the window all night. She positioned her head, that was leaning against the cool metal window pane, so that she could keep one eye on Lucas and the other on the now fading darkness. All night long Peyton stayed awake, quietly watching her husband sleep, and listening to the steady beeping of the heart monitor. As the sun began to rise, Peyton tiredly made her way to Lucas's bedside. Peyton took Lucas's hand in hers and sat in the chair beside the bed. "Squeeze if you can hear me…" she paused for a moment, waiting for Lucas to squeeze her hand. "Alright, keep being stubborn," she joked as she remembered the first time she visited Lucas in the hospital after his car accident in Tree Hill. 

"I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I want you to know that things are going to be different. I'm not going to leave you here alone. I haven't changed my mind on us. So when you wake up, I'll be right here holding your hand. Then we're going to work on us because I can't not have you in my life. So you need to wake up," she urged through soft tears. "Please, Lucas, just open your eyes and come back to me,"

When Lucas didn't waken, Peyton stood up and carefully climbed into bed beside her husband. With her head gently resting on his chest, she listened to the steady beating of his heart - a sound that she would never take for granted again.  



	11. Storm

I hope you guys have been enjoying the story so far. I haven't had much time to write lately and I'm not really sure of how to link the past to the present, but I'll figure something out. Anyways, hope you keep reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: Title of this chapter is a song by Lifehouse**

* * *

Chapter 10: Storm  
**

As Peyton lay her head down onto Lucas's chest, she listened to the beat of his heart. The beats were slow, but steady. A small smile crept across her lips as she listened to the rhythm. Slowly the rhythm began to quicken. Her tuned ear noticed the change almost immediately. Peyton sat up and looked up at Lucas's face.

The slow, steady beeping of the heart rate monitor became increasingly irregular as Lucas slowly came back to consciousness. He struggled to open his eyes, desperately trying to wake up from his nightmare.

"Peyton…" Lucas mumbled in a voice that was barely audible.

"Hey, I'm right here," Peyton whispered softly while she cradled his slightly bearded face, trying to calm him down.

He tossed his head from side to side as he fought to wake up.

"Lucas, open your eyes. Wake up," Peyton encouraged while squeezing his hand.

A patient Peyton waited for Lucas to come around. She watched him struggle for a few moments longer before his eyes finally fluttered open along with a loud gasp. The world around Lucas was nothing but a blur. Still used to the darkness, Lucas's vision slowly adjusted to the lights.

"Peyton," Lucas said with a weak smile. Although she was nothing but a blur, Lucas knew it was her, holding his hand.

"Hey," she replied, brushing her hand through his thick hair.

Lucas blinked his eyes a couple of times, trying to adjust to the blinding light. Finally, Peyton's curls began to come into focus, followed by her hazel eyes and beautiful smile. He stared back at her with a happy gaze. Lucas had his chance to make things right for him and Peyton.

"I'm sorry," he said in a weak voice.

Peyton shook her head, "Now's not the time," Her smile was now gone.

Even though Lucas felt exhausted, he was determined to tell Peyton everything. "I need…" he tried to sit himself up, "to tell you…" Suddenly, Lucas stopped when he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He quickly clutched his chest, showing Peyton his discomfort.

"Lucas, stop. Please. We can talk later. Just relax," She remained calm and helped him lay back down, "Take smaller breaths, slowly,"

Lucas obeyed and took smaller and slower breaths. The pain in his chest gradually disappeared. Lucas looked at Peyton, wondering how she knew what to do.

"Dr. Morgan came in during the night," she began to explain...

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Karen had just left with Roewan and Sawyer, leaving Peyton alone with her husband. She felt awkward, sitting there, staring at a sleeping Lucas. She hated hospitals almost as much as churches – as neither gave her very happy memories. _

"_Excuse me, Mrs. Scott?"_

_Peyton looked up at the door to find a middle aged man wearing a white coat. _

"_Yes?"_

"_Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm Dr. Morgan. I tended to your husband when he came in," he explained as he checked the monitors and Lucas's heart rate._

_Peyton stood up and walked to the opposite side of the bed – out of the doctor's way, "Is he going to be ok?"_

_Dr. Morgan nodded his head, "He gave us all quite a scare, but he should be able to make a full recovery,"_

_Peyton squeezed Lucas's hand when she heard the good news. _

"_He may, however, experience some chest discomfort when he wakes up, but that it's normal for patients who've just had a defibrillator implanted. Just tell him to take short, shallow breaths if he does," _

_Did she hear him right? "A what implanted?"_

"_A defibrillator," Dr. Morgan routinely flipped through Lucas's medical charts, "We were able implant the cardioverter defibrillator without any problem,"_

"_Wait, I don't understand. Nobody told me he was having heart surgery…don't you need permission or something?"_

"_Mrs. Scott, we did have permission…" Dr. Morgan flipped to another page on the chart. He pointed out Lucas's signature on the bottom of a page. "He signed the permission papers when he was prescribed the new medication,"_

"_New medication?" _

_Dr. Morgan was confused by Peyton's surprised reaction. "Mrs. Scott, how much do you know about your husbands heart condition?"_

"_Um…just that he's been taking Propranolol for his HCM,"_

_The doctor scratched his head, feeling a bit uncomfortable, "Mrs. Scott, I'm sorry to be the one tell you this, but Lucas's initial HCM condition worsened in the last couple of months. He was advised to have a defibrillator implanted and to quit playing basketball as soon as possible. When he refused they prescribed a much stronger medication. Actually, even with the meds, he shouldn't have been playing. I'm pretty amazed that it took this long for his heart to stop,"_

_Peyton's face dropped at news. Her gaze left Dr. Morgan's solemn face and ended up on Lucas'. Slowly, her thoughts came together and suddenly, Lucas's behavior over the past two months made sense. But now she didn't know if she should be relieved to know that Lucas was OK or angry that he risked his life and kept it all a secret._

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

Lucas shamefully looked away. He noticed that her hand was no longer in his. She was hurt by his secrets and angered by his selfishness. To make matters worse, Peyton learned everything from a complete stranger.

"Peyton," his voice was raspy and dry, "I was going to tell you after the game…I'm sorry,"

"I know and I don't care. All of that doesn't mean anything. All that matters is that you're ok," She then took a step back. Blinking back tears, Peyton turned and began to walk towards the door. Her emotions were beginning to catch up with her. There were so many thoughts and feelings flowing through her veins; it was beginning to suffocate her. She needed to get out of there. The four white walls seemed to be caving in on her; she felt trapped. Air…some fresh air would help, she thought.

"Peyton, don't go,"

She gave him a weak smile, "I'll be back,"

* * *

Peyton closed the door behind her. She could breathe again. She wiped her eyes as she made her way past the nurse's station.

"Look, is that her?" a young girl asked the man, who was talking to the nurses.

The taller man stopped mid-sentence as he turned around and looked into the direction of her pointing hand. It was her.

"Peyton," he called out.

The curly blonde stopped in her tracks and looked up. She first saw the girl. Peyton didn't recognize the brown haired girl, but there was something familiar about her face. Peyton's gaze then fell on the man who was standing beside her. His face was even more familiar…older, but familiar. It took her a few seconds longer before she recognized him, as it had been years since she last saw him, "Jake?"


	12. Drifting

A huge thanks to those who reviewed. I'm glad that you guys like the story and Jake showing up was a surprise to me as well. Hey may or may not cause some trouble…but don't worry, I'm not a big Jeyton fan ( I like the friendship, but not the relationship). Anyways, keep on reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or OTH.  
Title of this chapter is a song by Sarah McLachlan

* * *

**  
Chapter 11: Drifting**

They had just sat down on a bench in the hospital's courtyard. Peyton and Jake watched Jenny make her way back into the building to buy some sodas.

"She looks so much like you, Jake,"

He jokingly cringed, "That's not a good thing,"

Peyton politely laughed. "So how long have you been in Houston?"

"A few years now. Well, actually San Antonio…my parents moved there after they retired, so we moved too. We're only in town because of Lucas, he's Jenny's favorite player and she was begging me to bring her to the game. So I said why not…plus I've always wondered about you,"

"Yeah? Well I've always wondered about you too. How you and Jenny were and if Nikki ever found you,"

"Thanks to you, Nikki never found us…but we did find Nikki,"

Peyton's eyes widened, surprised that Jake would find the woman who abandoned Jenny when she was born, "What do you mean?"

"Jenny wanted to meet her mother. So about two years ago they finally met,"

"And how did that go?"

"Surprisingly, it went well. Who would have thought, after all these years, Nikki finally grew up and that we'd be sharing custody?"

"Nikki? Are we talking about the same Nikki?"

Jake laughed, "I know, it sounds weird. But she's a different person now and she's still Jenny's mother. So how is Lucas doing anyways?"

"He's gonna be ok,"

"And you?"

"I'm ok too. Lucas is gonna make a full recovery and things will go back to normal," she said it like she was telling herself it was going to happened.

"You don't sound too sure,"

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Peyton, don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you were trying to convince yourself. Is everything alright between you guys?" He saw a tear roll down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry,"

"No, it's fine," she wiped the tear away quickly. "Everything just happened so fast, you know. I just don't know what to do or how to feel – should I be mad, should I be relieved…"

"I know we're not close, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here," He put his hand on her shoulder, offering her some support.

Peyton took a deep breath and began to explain, "A couple of months ago, Lucas changed. He was moody, he was hardly every home or around for the kids…I just thought it was stress, you know. But last night, I found out that Lucas's HCM worsened and that he had to quit playing basketball. The doctors told him that he needed to have a defibrillator implanted, as a way to prevent heart attacks or something,"

"But he refused and kept playing," Jake filled in.

She nodded her head, "The thing is, I had to learn all of it from the doctor. I just felt so stupid…I mean here I am his wife and I know nothing about my husband," Peyton paused, "I'm just so mad at Lucas – for lying and keeping secrets. And it scares me. I'm scared that we'll never get things back to the way things were. I'm scared that I'll never be able to forgive him,"

Jake put his hand on Peyton's and wiped a tear away. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better, but he offered her advice from his own experience, "Peyton, you'll always find a way to forgive the ones you love,"

* * *

After Peyton left his room, Lucas nodded off. Twenty minutes later, he was beginning to awaken again. When his vision came into focus, he saw someone sitting in the chair next to his bed reading the morning's newspaper. Lucas couldn't see who it was, as their face was hiding behind the open newspaper. 

"Peyton?" Lucas weakly called out.

"That was some 'heart' stopping show you put on last night," a voice mocked from behind the paper.

Lucas immediately recognized the cocky voice, "What are you doing here?"

Slowly the newspaper lowered, revealing the sarcastic shocked face of Dan Scott, "Now, is that any way to greet your father?"

It had been years since Lucas last seen Dan. After Lucas left Tree Hill to start his pro career, their paths hadn't crossed. When Lucas visited Tree Hill, he never made the effort to go see Dan. Dan was never a part of Lucas's life and Lucas saw no reason to change that.

"I wouldn't know…I never had a father to greet,"

"Touché," Dan laughed.

Before Lucas shot another insult at Dan, Dan raised his hand. "Relax, I'm not here to pick a fight with you. Believe it or not I came by to congratulate you,"

"Congratulate me? Right, so all I had to do was win an NBA Championship to make you consider me as your son,"

"Whoa, who said that I considered you as my son?"

Even though Lucas hated Dan and never thought of him as his father, the words still stung him. He fought back his tears through his icy glare.

"I mean you may have my name and you may act like me…"

"That's where you're wrong. I may have the same last name as you, but I am not you and I never will be you,"

Dan scoffed, "You're right, you'll never be me. Because when my wife betrayed me, I actually had the guts to do something about it,"

"Well, that's another thing we don't have in common. My wife would never betray me,"

"Oh, you mean that curly blonde woman outside finding comfort in the arms of another man?"

"You're lying,"

"I don't lie. I just tell it as I see it," Dan said in his cool and calm demeanor.

Lucas didn't want to hear anymore of Dan's lies. "Get out,"

The door to Lucas's room opened and Dan turned his head around. He saw Peyton making her way towards him. Dan turned back to Lucas and raised his eyebrows,

"Speaking of…" Dan quietly said to Lucas.

"Get away from him,"

"Alright, I can see where I'm not wanted,"

"And yet, you still exist," Peyton said smugly.

"Ouch…still feisty I see. Careful Lucas, these are the ones you have to keep your eyes on," Dan winked at Lucas.

After Dan exited the room, Peyton took a seat on the bed beside Lucas and held his hand. "Hey, sorry I wasn't here to throw him out earlier,"

"Nah, it's ok. You're here now. Where were you?"

A smile crept across her face, "Guess who I bumped into in the hallway?" Peyton said excitedly.

"I don't know. Who?"

"Jake! He brought Jenny to watch the game last night. Had to pay an arm and a leg just for nosebleed seats,"

As Peyton continued to talk about Jake and how much Jenny had grown since they had last seen her, Lucas couldn't help but notice how happy Peyton looked. It was the first time in a long time she looked that way. His thoughts were then tormented by Dan's comments. Was Dan right? Had Peyton found solace with Jake during the times he and Peyton were separated?

It was a stupid question, and Lucas knew it, but he also knew that Peyton had a special connection to Jake. Not just because of Jenny, but Peyton was always comfortable around Jake. And Lucas knew how close they were before Jake left Tree Hill.

"Lucas? Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Hmm…yeah. Jake and Jenny. Are they still here?"

"They're outside the door…are you sure you're ok? You look kinda pale,"

"Peyton, I'm fine," he snapped suddenly

His sudden outburst left her speechless.

"I'm sorry. It's just…Dan, he just really go to me,"

Peyton nodded her head understandingly. She leaned over and kissed Lucas's forehead before running her hand through his hair, "Hey, we're going to get through this, together. I love you, you know,"

Hearing those words brought a smile to his face, "I love you too,"

They both knew that they faced a long and bumpy road to rekindle what they once had. It was going to take a lot of work and patience, but both were equally determined. They were tired of drifting apart and someday, somehow their love was going to bring them back.


	13. Everybody's Changing

Your reviews are awesome! Thank you to all who have been giving me feed back.  
Unfortunately I think this story is coming to end. I'll have an epilogue to wrap things up. There were so many rewrites for this chapter because I could never explain things the way I wanted or I couldn't come up with an ending. But I think this will do. I hope you guys enjoy it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or the characters.  
Title of this chapter is a song by Keane

**Chapter 12: Everybody's Changing**

_As people grow older they get wiser; they learn from their mistakes and evolve to become a better person. Through this growth into a better person, changes are made to themselves and to the people around them. But even though changes are made within, there are some things that remain the same. _

_I've made plenty of mistakes in my life and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't still learning from them. I am still trying to become that better person…not just for myself, but also for my kids and especially from my wife. But even as I change, there's one thing that won't change; and that's the love I have for Peyton.

* * *

_

It had been a long day for Lucas. Ever since he had woken up that morning his door seemed turn into a revolving door as visitors came and went. Thankfully, visiting hours were over and Lucas lay comfortably in his hospital bed. He was about to doze off when he heard his door creek open again. It was Peyton, the only person allowed to stay with him.

"Too tired for one more visitor?"

"Not if it's just you," he grinned.

She smiled and took a seat beside him on the bed. She had waited all day for some time alone with her husband – some time alone to talk and to rehash things.

"What's wrong?"

Peyton shook her head, "It's nothing," her nerves got the best of her and changed her mind.

"Peyt…. Talk to me," he put his hand on hers, letting her know he was there for her.

Her eyes looked away, not wanting to talk. Before she looked away, he saw the hurt in her eyes.

Carefully, Lucas sat up. He lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. "I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it, but I can't do it on my own. I need you to talk to me,"

Peyton bit her bottom lip. The last thing she wanted to do was to deal with her feelings, but she also knew it was the only way they could move on. Feeling vulnerable, Peyton crossed her arms around her torso as if she were trying to hold herself together.

"Lucas, I just…I don't know what to feel anymore. You know, when you were rushed to the hospital, I found myself in the chapel…praying to God that he wouldn't take you away…that Roewan and Sawyer didn't deserve to grow up without their father…" Peyton's voice began to crack, as tears began to form, "and now that you're OK, I thank Him that you're still here and I know I should be happy but…"

"But what?"

Peyton wiped away her tearing eyes. "But at the same time, I feel like I don't know who you are anymore. I'm scared that you're not the same person I fell in love with. I mean the Lucas Scott that I fell in love with never kept secrets from me. He told me everything and he was always there for me,"

"Peyton, I made a huge mistake, and believe me I'm paying for it," Lucas pleaded, "But I am...I am still the same guy you married and who always loved you…I will do anything and everything to prove that to you. Please just give me time to let me show that to you,"

"But what if it's not enough anymore? I mean I feel like I was the one who disappointed you. I was your wife and you couldn't even turn to me for support,"

"Peyton, you have never disappointed me, not then and not ever. I wanted to tell you but I knew if I told you, you wouldn't have let me play another game,"

"Damn right, I wouldn't have! And that's another thing I don't understand," She couldn't believe that was the reason why he couldn't tell her - that he let basketball come between their marriage and his life, "You knew you couldn't play in your condition… that you could have died just by walking onto the court and yet you kept on playing"

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. It was my decision to make. Look, maybe it was a stupid choice, but at that time I thought I was doing the right thing," he stubbornly defended his actions.

"Do you realize that you chose a stupid game over your life? That because of your selfish decision I went through Hell. Even now…I keep picturing you lying on the court. Do you know what it was like to see you like that? To hold you in my arms while you… Lucas your heart stopped and you…"

Peyton began to cry heavily and couldn't finish her sentence. Seeing her breakdown right in front of him scared him. Lucas finally saw how much pain Peyton was feeling and it hurt him just as much because he knew that there wasn't anything that he could say that could take it all away. But he wouldn't give up on her or them.

He pulled her into his arms and held her, "I sorry," he whispered in her ear. The tears began to flow from his tired eyes. "I never wanted to put you through that. Peyton I'll do anything to fix it," He pulled apart just enough to look her in her eyes, "I can't change the past and I can't promise that things will be the same, but I will promise that it'll be even better. I'm here now ok? And I'm not going anywhere without you,"

A small smile formed across her lips. Lucas was right, things between them had changed but what didn't change was their love for each other. It was always their inside of them and it was the one thing that kept them strong and alive, "I know…I know and that's why I know that we'll be alright,"

* * *

It was nearing midnight and the now happy couple was lying side by side in the single hospital bed. Peyton's head rested against his shoulder as he stroked her hair. 

"Peyton?"

Peyton, half asleep, kept her eyes closed, "Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something,"

"What?" Her eyes opened, but she didn't move from her position.

"I found your book…the one about your ideas and sketches for your own magazine. Why didn't you tell me about it?"

Lucas braced himself for Peyton's answer. He anticipated that Peyton would try to avoid facing her own insecurities by becoming upset with him for 'snooping' through her things, but he was wrong. Instead, he felt Peyton take in a deep, calming breath. She partially sat up to face him.

"I don't know…I guess partly because you were busy with basketball and then when the kids came, I needed to focus on them…but mainly because I was scared,"

"You don't have to be scared anymore," Lucas told her and removed a curl from her face, "Peyton, you sacrificed everything for me and now it's my turn. It's my turn to support your career and take care of the kids while you live your dream. It's my turn to take care of you,"

"Lucas…" Peyton began with a hint of skepticism.

"You don't have a choice," interrupted Lucas, "Mike O'Dell, your old magazine boss from New York, wants you to publish as soon as possible,"

Peyton's thoughts froze as her body tensed up. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I called him after I found your book and pitched the idea. He loved it Peyton and wants to help you start up as a 'sister' magazine to his... whatever that means," Lucas chuckled, "All I know is that the magazine will be 100 yours,"

Peyton remained quiet and it bothered Lucas. He knew that a quiet Peyton was never a good sign.

"What do you think? Peyton?"

Abruptly, Peyton sat up. He could tell that she was upset. Peyton avoided eye contact with Lucas and turned her face away from him. She knew she should have been happy to hear the news. But her own self-doubt prevented her from thanking him. The very reason she never told anyone about her dream was because she was afraid that in the end, she would fail. Keeping it a secret let her hide that and it made her feel safe, but now she had nowhere to hide.

But before she could voice her insecurities, Lucas reassured her, "Your ideas were amazing and I'm going to do whatever it takes to see that you get to live your dreams. You can do this Peyton…I believe in you,"

'I believe in you' – are only four little words, but it eased her own doubts and it meant everything to her.


	14. Epilogue: Ever The Same

I loved writing this story and I had a lot of fun too, but unfortunately, this is it. I know I could have gone on a chapter or two, but in following the timeline to the story, it was time to bring Peyton back to the present.

**Recap**: Just a refresher for those who haven't read the first few chapters recently and may have forgotten – Peyton flew into Tree Hill with just the kids and Peyton is supposed to meet Haley later on that day. With some free time, Peyton reminisces about her and Lucas's past as she reads through Lucas's journal.

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or any of the characters.  
Title and lyrics used in this chapter is a song by Rob Thomas

* * *

**Epilogue: Ever The Same**

Their past was what made them - it had gotten them to where they were now. Through it all, they had been strong when one of them faltered and now, together, they were stronger than ever. Nothing would be forgotten or ignored as they shaped them into the people they were now.

* * *

_**We were drawn from the weeds. We were brave like soldiers**_

She smiled happily as she closed the brown leather book. It had been a long day of remembering and reflecting for Peyton as she read Lucas's journal. She glanced at her watch and saw that she was going to be late with her meeting with Haley. Haley was going to be one the featured artists in Peyton's now successful magazine.

It had been months since Lucas was released from the hospital. During that time, Peyton, with the support of Lucas, started her magazine career and it was an immediate hit. Both Peyton and Lucas also decided that it would be best to move back to Tree Hill to be closer to family and friends. Going back to Tree Hill also meant free babysitters whenever Peyton had to work in New York and whenever Lucas went with her.

Peyton quickly packed up her belongings that was scattered around her in the middle of the Tree Hill Bridge. Once she was set, Peyton got to her feet and turned into the direction of Haley's house when she finally saw him. There, standing at the foot of the bridge, with a mischievous grin, was Lucas. Her face lit up with surprise and froze her in place.

She watched him slowly make his way to the middle of the bridge, where she stood. Her heart fluttered and her stomach flipped in ways only Lucas could do.

He kept his eyes on her as he approached. He watched the cool breeze play with her blonde curls. His palms began to sweat like they always did whenever she was near.

"Hey," his voice sounding like a teenage boy who was talking to the girl of his dreams for the first time, "I've been thinking about you,"

"Try a cold shower," Peyton grinned and sarcastically shook her head, "You still haven't learned, have you?"

"Oh, I learned…I learned that cold showers don't work any more," he winked at her.

"Lucas!" she blushed and laughed. Her hand tucked a stray curl behind her ear, before throwing her arms around him, "I thought you said you were going to finish packing up the house,"

Since Peyton had to interview Haley for the magazine, Lucas thought it would be best if Peyton settled the kids into their hometown, while he packed up the rest of the Scott's belongings. He would then meet up with his family later that week.

"I was…but I then I started missing you and the kids…"

"We've only been apart for a few hours, Lucas,"

"I know and it was a second too long,"

* * *

_**Falling down under the pale moonlight. You were holding to me. Like a someone broken**_

As the sun continued to set, Lucas stood behind his wife with his arms wrapped around her torso and holding her close. Together they watch the sun descend over the small town. She looked up at him over her shoulder and kissed him. Her body leaned back into him as she looked back at the setting sun. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight.

* * *

_**And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now**_

"This is where it all began, you know?"

Lucas's brows furrowed as he thought, "Where what began?"

"Us…well at least for me it did," she knew he didn't quite understand, "Remember when you found me out here…on the anniversary of my mother's death?"

"Yeah,"

_**Just let me hold you while you're falling apart. Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down**_

"I was a real bitch to you…not just on that day either…but you were the only one who saw through it and you were always there still trying to cheer me up…and you did," she paused, replaying the scene in her head, "You said…"

"I would gladly erase my dad if it would bring back your mom. I wish I could change it for you," Lucas finished. His arms held her tighter and he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

* * *

_**Fall on me. Tell me everything you want me to be. Forever with you forever in me. Ever the same**_

"When you said that, I knew that your little crush on me wasn't just a crush…that you were for real. And that's when I started to let myself fall in love with you," Peyton turned around to face him. She snaked her arms around his neck, "We've been through so much ever since we met…so much drama and so many changes,"

_**You may need me there. To carry all your weight. But you're no burden I assure. **_

"Yeah, but there is one thing that was always the same – our love. It's always been there, holding us up when we needed something to lean on and keeping us together when we were apart. I can promise you, it's the one thing that will remain the same,"

_**You tide me over. With a warmth I'll not forget. But I can only give you love.**_

Their lips drew closer like two magnets. She barely felt his soft lips on hers when a loud honking interrupted. They looked into the direction of irritating honking just in time to see two kids climbing out of the car. It was their two children, Roewan and Sawyer – with a smiling Brooke waving and honking in the driver seat. After returning from an outing to the zoo, Brooke was driving the Scott kids to Karen's house when she spotted her two friends on the bridge.

_**Call on me. I'll be there for you. And you'll be there for me.**_

Lucas and Peyton laughed and waved back at their friend. As the kids scampered down the bridge towards their parents, Brooke turned the car around and drove off. With one quick swoop, Lucas picked Roewan up into his arms and Peyton took Sawyer into hers.

"Dad, I thought you were coming next week with all our stuff," Roewan asked.

"I was…but then I thought it would be better if I came home earlier,"

"Good, I missed you,"

"Me too," piped in Sawyer.

"Me three," Peyton added with a kiss to Sawyer's cheek and then to Roewan's.

Lucas felt left out, "Don't I get a kiss?"

"Come here you big baby," Peyton leaned in and kissed her husband on the lips.

"Eww…" Roewan said in disgust. Sawyer playfully covered her eyes and giggled.

Lucas and Peyton laughed as they pulled apart their lips. He wrapped his arm around his wife with his free arm and pulled her in close. Her head gently nestled onto his shoulder as a gentle kiss was placed on her head. Together, as a happy family, they then watched the setting sun turn the azure sky into a rainbow of reds. It was another day gone and the last day they would ever spend apart.

_**Forever it's you. Forever in me. Ever the same**_

_**THE END **_

**A/N: **Although it didn't turn out the way I imagined, I was pleased with this ending. Please let me know what you thought about this ending and the entire story.

I'd also like thank everyone who read and especially to those who reviewed

luvtheOC09 – Thanks for all of your encouraging words. They always kept me going with this story.

Song for No One – I agree, LP is amazing…I hope things will work out for them this season! I also have to say, although I don't have much time to read other fics on here, I started reading _The Hardest Part…_great story. I'll be reviewing when I get caught up!

jhhhhjfjk89 – Thanks for asking for updates after each chapter. It really did motivate me to write more.

uscrocks – I'm glad I was able to surprise a few times and I'm happy to see that you like reading it more than once – one of the best compliments I've gotten.

Leytonunit – Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked the story. I have started another Leyton fic, it's called _A Summer To Remember_ and I have another story that's up (not sure if you've read it) that one is a called _Waiting for That Second Chance._I hope you check them out.

Lauren – I know you've been reading since the beginning and a huge thanks for letting me know. It was great to know that you kept on reading and it really did make me keep writing.

P.Sawyer – Thanks for reading. I really need to catch up with your stories too. I know I started reading one. I hope you updated cause it'll be the first one I read tomorrow!

OnTheOutsideLookingIn -I know you were reading in the beginning and I hope that you are still reading. I'd really like to hear what you thought.

qtea-angel, emma, Me, ellie, luckypnai28, lukeNpeyt, Kierens, MandyLee, jeytonlover, ltlsky489, Little miss know it all, Katie, darcy101, Angelic Prefect, indieemo-gurl21. – I appreciated all of the comments you left. Each one was read and was very encouraging. Thank you!


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